


Little Fires

by TheJaguar (Spiderboat)



Category: Warriors
Genre: Adventure, Aromantic Asexual Lead, Coming of Age, F/M, Gen, Journey, Other, Trans Lady Lead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-22 06:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 37,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiderboat/pseuds/TheJaguar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emberpaw has never really fit in. He's never felt right in his body, never felt right with his Clanmates. What can you do when you're a molly stuck in a tom's body? Pray? Wish? Dream? You can't fix your body, or so he's been told. But when he hears of a magical place where stars touch the earth, a miracle might come his way after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Allegiances

**ThunderClan**

**Leader** : Leopardstar - Golden-brown longhair tabby molly with distinctive markings

 **Deputy** : Heathernose - Ginger tabby tom with a lighter belly

 **Medicine Cat** : Beechfur - Gray-brown tom with a white tailtip

Apprentice: Goosepaw

 **Warriors** :

Aspenfur - Dark gray tabby molly with a white tailtip

Brokentail - Light gray tabby tom with a white muzzle; has a crooked tail

Apprentice: Emberpaw

Fireclaw - Ginger tom with white paws

Apprentice: Tawnypaw

Brightnose - Longhair ginger-and-white tom

Patchstripe - Dark brown tabby molly with patches of white

Cherrytail - Ginger tabby molly with green eyes

Marigoldclaw - Ginger molly with white paws

Thymetail - Light gray tabby tom with yellow eyes

Kestrelpelt - Calico molly

Apprentice: Rainpaw

Jayfur - Brown tabby-and-white tom with green eyes

Darkcloud - Dark gray tabby tom

Apprentice: Linnetpaw

Elmwhisker - Brown tabby molly with green eyes

Tawnyfur - Ginger-and-white tom with green eyes

**Queens:**

Eelfoot - Dark brown tabby molly with orange eyes

Nightface - Black longhair molly

Lightningclaw - Golden tabby molly with a white belly

**Apprentices:**

Goosepaw - Grey-brown longhair tabby molly

Linnetpaw - Grey-brown longhair tabby molly with a bushy tail

Rainpaw - Gray tabby molly with yellow eyes

Emberpaw - Tortoiseshell tom

Tawnypaw - Ginger molly with some flecks of black

 **Elders** :

Lightfur - White tom with patches of brown tabby, half-kittypet, notably small tail

Tornface - Sandy brown tabby tom with a scarred face, retired early due to blindness

Whitewhisker - Very old white molly, former ThunderClan medicine cat

**RiverClan**

**Leader** : Tigerstar - Dark brown tabby molly

 **Deputy** : Littlenose - Notably small black tom

 **Medicine Cat** : Reedstream - Thin, wiry brown tabby tom

 **Warriors** :

Applefur - Dark ginger tom

Nightfur - Black tom

Morningface - Pretty tortoiseshell molly

Pebblepelt - Small gray molly

Badgerstep - Large gray tom with black stripes and a white belly

Mousefur - Small brown tabby tom

Lionnose - Large golden tabby molly

Flyfur - Tiny gray tom

Apprentice: Rabbitpaw

Pikeface - Handsome gray-brown tom with some spots

**WindClan**

**Leader** : Crowstar - Lean gray molly

 **Deputy** : Brightnose - Tiny sandy-brown molly with a limp

 **Medicine Cat** : Falconfur - Blue gray tabby tom

 **Warriors** :

Eagleclaw - Big golden-brown tabby tom

Sandfoot - Light brown tabby molly

Haretail - Large brown tabby tom

Duskpelt - Dark gray-brown tabby tom

Daisyfur - White tom

Threefoot - Silver tabby molly with three legs

**ShadowClan**

**Leader** : Kitestar - Reddish-brown spotted tabby tom

 **Deputy** : Mudflower - Brown tabby molly with yellow eyes

 **Medicine Cat** : Darkleaf - Black molly with one eye

Apprentice: Bluepaw

**Warriors:**

Foxfang - Ginger tabby tom

Toadfoot - Spotted dark brown tabby molly

Cootfoot - Black tom with small white markings on his muzzle

Beestep - Small golden tabby tom with dark black stripes

Hornetpelt - Large golden tabby molly

Spiderfur - Fat black tom

**Cats Outside Clans**

Merry - Fat white molly with a short tail, Lightfur's mother

Kip and Skip - Twin black toms

Riverrun - Mysterious gray tabby tom with long fur


	2. Birth

"Emberkit... Emberkit..." She heard someone calling her name, and she stretched out her tiny paws towards the voice.

 _Who is that?_ she thought. _What is that?_ Blearily she opened her eyes, mewling pitifully. _I'm hungry!_

"Oh, look, see, Beechfur? He can hear me!" The big furry, warm thing that she liked to snuggle with made the vibrating happen again, and she slowly realized that the vibrating made the noise. She lifted her head to catch the sounds and mewed curiously. "Look, see! He recognizes me! Oh..."

"He's a smart young buck for a little guy, I'll give him that." She felt some big furry thing touch her, and she shifted to it. Maybe it had food? She mewled at it, trying to get it to give her milk.

"He should open his eyes soon, right?" That was the big furry thing and she snuggled into the noises. She made her own noises, a soft one that rolled throughout her body effortlessly as she breathed in and out, pawing around for food. _I'm happy._

"Give it a few more days. Remember he's still young."

"But he's growing normally, right?"

"Yes, he's just fine. He'll become a fine warrior at this rate."

The big warm thing sighed. "That's so good to hear. Thank you, Beechfur."

"Anytime, Eelfoot. If anything happens, call me immediately. If I'm not around, Goosepaw will come. Toms with tortoiseshell pelts can get sick a lot, so I'll be keeping an extra close eye on him."

She didn't understand any of the noises, but she liked the big furry thing's. She liked them a lot. They made her feel safe, and as she finally found the soft thing the milk came out of and began to suck, she felt the big furry thing with the nice noises make the one vibration that lulled her to sleep. The wet thing came down above her and began to lick her body, making her feel soft and happy.

"Thanks, Beechfur. I know you'll help Emberkit to grow into a strong, healthy tom, just like his father. StarClan bless him."

"Indeed. It's such a shame we had to lose Leopardwhisker like that. Damn Twolegs and their monsters, coming off the Thunderpath like that..."

"But Emberkit will make him proud. I know that. Emberkit will be the son he always wanted. You remember him saying that, right? 'I can't wait to have a son of my own! He'll be the second-best hunter in ThunderClan, second only to his dear old dad!'"

"Imagine if he was. That would be a blessing."

"Mmm." The big furry thing curled around her. "I'm very tired, Beechfur, and it's time for Emberkit's nap."

"Right. Take care, Eelfoot."

She settled in as the big furry thing curled around her, squirming around and wiggling her bottom until she was comfortable. They both made tiny vibrating noises, and they were happy.


	3. Kithood

Emberkit rose to his paws. "That's my big boy!" his mother, Eelfoot said. "Come on, let's go for a walk, Emberkit!"

"Yes, Mama- I mean, yes, Eelfoot," he said timidly. He was getting too big to say "Mama" anymore. He raised his baby blue eyes up at his mother, a lovely brown tabby molly with the brightest orange eyes. They reminded Emberkit of the setting sun, and he liked to look at them a lot.

"Oh, Eelfoot, you're taking him around the camp?" asked Kestrelpelt, who was busy with her own kits, Linnetkit and Rainkit.

"Yes, just for a short walk. We might ask Whitewhisker for a story, if he's good."

"Oh, take these two with you then! They could use a good story, ever since..." Kestrelpelt's voice drifted off, and Eelfoot gave her a comforting nuzzle.

"We all mourn the loss of Hollykit, my friend. But your babies have to grow strong, and they will from a strong mother."

Kestrelpelt sighed. "It's just so hard sometimes. I keep waking up expecting her to be there with her sisters, and yet... Do you think she's forgotten me? She was so young..."

"Never. She will love you for all her days, and she'll be the first to meet you in StarClan."

Kestrelpelt raised her ginger-and-black head. "How can you be so sure, Eelfoot?"

"Have faith," was all Eelfoot said. "Come along, Linnetkit, Rainkit! We're going to go for a walk."

"But I don't wanna walk!" whined Linnetkit, yawning loudly. "I'm sleepy."

"Come on, sis!" urged Rainkit with a nip on the ear. "We can play with Emberkit! And then maybe Whitewhisker will tell us a story!"

Linnetkit groaned from the bite. "One about LeopardClan?"

"If you ask nicely," said Eelfoot. "Come along. Give your mother some rest."

"Okay," mewed Rainkit, crawling over her mother's white paws. "Bye bye, Kestrelpelt!"

"Yeah, bye bye!" mewed Linnetkit, tumbling clumsily over.

The two kits wandered under Eelfoot's belly and nosed curiously at Emberkit, their gray and gray-brown faces peering curiously at him. "Hi, Emberkit! Wanna play?" squeaked Linnetkit.

Emberkit shook his head, hiding bashfully behind Eelfoot's tail.

"Come on out, Emberkit, say hello," urged Eelfoot.

Emberkit looked up with a sullen pout. "Do I have to?"

"Be polite."

The tortoiseshell tom sighed. "Hi, Linnetkit, hi, Rainkit."

"Do you wanna play, Emberkit?" said Rainkit, dipping her gray tabby body down into a playful bow. "We can play Border Patrol! Or Battle!"

"No thanks," mewed Emberkit, ducking behind Eelfoot's hind legs. Linnetkit and Rainkit were two moons older than him, and he was scared by how big they were.

"Emberkit's still tiny, you two," said Cherrytail. "He's just a moon older than Tawnykit and Duckkit. Be gentle."

Both kits stopped in their tracks and looked at how small and fragile the newest additions to the nursery were. In silent awe, they both backed off slowly from Emberkit.

"Very good, both of you. Come now, let's just go for a quick walk." Eelfoot swished her tail as if to gather the three of them and led them out of the nursery.

A big dark gray tabby tom was the first to see them. "Oh, out for a little stroll, eh, Eelfoot?" he said with a pleasant chuckle.

Eelfoot nodded with a grin. "Can't keep me inside for too long, Darkcloud."

"'Course not," he said. "The forest just calls for its swiftest runner." He turned his yellow eyes to the three little ones. "Hey, kits," he purred. "How are you doing?"

"Good!" Linnetkit chirped. "Kestrelpelt brought us a whole bird, and guess what? I ate my whole half, even the wings!"

Darkcloud let out a jovial laugh straight from his belly. "Good for you! The Clan needs less picky eaters!"

Emberkit poked his head out, and Darkcloud caught sight of him. "Oh, hey there, little guy! Didn't even see you there behind your mama." He crouched down on all fours and cocked his head. "Trying to be sneaky like a ShadowClan warrior?" he asked with a grin.

Emberkit giggled but said nothing.

"Aww, he's so shy. He'll be a real heartbreaker when he grows up." Darkcloud got back up. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm about to take Firepaw out for training. We're going hunting by Snakerocks. I want to test his agility."

"Don't get her killed, you crazy furball!" Eelfoot said with a laugh.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he replied. "You know he's my favorite."

"Your only favorite?" Eelfoot said with a playful tone.

"Hush, you, not in front of the kits!" Darkcloud chuckled. "Anyway, see you around." He waved his tail in a friendly way. "Bye, kits! Have fun!"

"Bye, Darkcloud!" Rainkit chirped.

Emberkit looked up at Eelfoot curiously. "Eelfoot, is Darkcloud my father?"

"No, sweetness," said Eelfoot. "Your father's name was Leopardwhisker."

"Oh." Emberkit thought for a moment. "Is Darkcloud gonna become my father?"

"We'll see," mewed Eelfoot, licking her son on the top of his head. "That's grown-up buisness."

"Grown-up buisness is boring!" whined Linnetkit.

"Shh, don't eavesdrop!" hissed Rainkit, giving her sister a nudge.

Eelfoot chuckled. "It's fine, Rainkit, but thank you. We should be going anyway. Come along."

Emberkit shifted in place. If Darkcloud was going to be his father, why wasn't he allowed to know about it? The grown-up buisness affected him, too!

The kits walked around the camp until they got to the elders' den. "Since you three were very good today," Eelfoot said, sitting at the entrance, "you can ask Whitewhisker for a story. But be quiet, Lightfur is sleeping."

"Ah, be as loud as you want, girls," said a tom with a badly scarred face. "A tree could fall on us and Lightfur wouldn't hear it if he was asleep."

Emberkit jumped in place, letting out a frightened mew.

"Eh? That your girl, Eelfoot?" he said, squinting his white eyes. They didn't have the black part in the middle that all cats had in their eyes, and looking at him made Emberkit tremble.

"My son, Emberkit." Eelfoot nudged Emberkit in front of her. "Emberkit, this is Tornface. Say hello."

Emberkit shook his head violently, trembling in place.

"Eh? A boy? Are you sure? Sounds like a girl to me. Only girl-kits cry like that."

"Have you forgotten how awful you look, Tornface?" a raspy voice said from the back of the den.

"In case you hadn't noticed, Whitewhisker, I haven't really been able to check." He tapped the side of his face with a paw. "Hello, blind, remember?"

"How can we forget?" Whitewhisker growled, rolling her skinny shoulders. "You remind us every five minutes."

"How come your face looks like that?" Emberkit piped up shyly.

"My name is Tornface, son. Take a guess."

"It got... torn?"

"Aha! StarClan has blessed him with a brain!" He chuckled, then got a softer look on his face. "Sorry, kid, that was mean of me. You're how old?"

"Three moons," Emberkit said, edging closer to the scarred tabby tom. His sandy-colored fur was in stark contrast to the pale pink of the skin that was exposed on his face.

"Aw, you're just a baby. I'm sorry, kid." He leaned down close to Emberkit's level. "Go on, you can touch 'em if that'll make you feel better. I got in a nasty fight with a WindClan cat named Eagleclaw, and accidentally fell into a tree, which ruined my eyes. I've been told the poor lad actually feels sorry."

"WindClan?" squaked Emberkit, recoiling in fear. "Other Clans are scary! I never want to meet them!"

"There ain't nothin' to be scared of," purred Tornface amusedly. "Why, I used to be a ShadowClan kit before ThunderClan took me in. I think I was about your age when I got here."

"Really?" Emberkit gasped.

"You bet," said Tornface with a wink. "Wanna hear the story?"

Emberkit nodded, while Whitewhisker told Linnetkit and Rainkit about the great exploits of LeopardClan and LionClan.

Tornface grinned. "All right, get comfy. Ha, I feel like a proper elder for once!"


	4. Checkup

"Now," said Tornface, putting his paws around Emberkit's sides, "back when I was just a littlun, not unlike you, I was called Gorsekit. My mother, Swanstep, decided that the ShadowClan way wasn't for her, and since I was her only kit, she decided to take me to ThunderClan. After some poking and prodding with Leopardstar, she finally conceded and let us join."

"What was ShadowClan like?" mewed Emberkit. "Was it scary? Are there really toads the size of your head?"

"It wasn't all that scary," Tornface said, "but it was really dark. See, ShadowClan's lands are full of tall pine trees, and the ground is mostly marshy and muddy. It's got a thick, heady smell. Once you smell ShadowClan for yourself, you'll see what I mean."

"Why did Swanstep leave ShadowClan?"

"Oh, you don't need to know that right now. That's grown-up buisness."

There was that dreaded grown-up buisness again! How old would Emberkit have to be before the adults started telling him what grown-up buisness was all about?

"Anyway, I grew up as a warrior here in ThunderClan and earned the name Gorsefang. But like I said, I got into a fight with Eagleclaw of WindClan and got my face snagged on a tree branch. And I've been Tornface ever since." He shook lightly. "Sorry my story's not all that impressive when you cut out the grown-up bits."

"S'okay," Emberkit said, curling up in Tornface's paws.

Tornface gave him and odd look, then shook him with a paw. "Hey, come on, kid, get up! Little toms don't nap in front of their elders!"

Emberkit shot up with a start, then looked over to Linnetkit and Rainkit. They were curled up together fast asleep while Whitewhisker gently whispered the rest of the story that they were sleeping through.

"But Rainkit and Linnetkit are sleeping!" Emberkit protested with a pout.

"They're girls, it's different," Tornface said with a gruff voice. "They need their rest, they're soft. Toms like you have to be tough."

Emberkit looked down dejectedly. He supposed it wouldn't be a good idea to mention how sleepy he was.

"Well, if they're that tired, it might be time for their nap," Eelfoot gently interjected, picking up Linnetkit by the scruff, gently rocking Rainkit awake. "Come along, kits. Back to the nursery we go."

Whitewhisker chuckled. "They're a good bunch," she said with a rusty mew.

"I know," Eelfoot said with a proud glow in her eyes.

Emberkit followed closely behind his mother and bade the elders a tiny good-bye. When the small group of cats was out of earshot of the elders' den, Emberkit looked up at Eelfoot and asked, "Mother, why are toms and mollies different?"

"You're just born that way," Eelfoot said. "Toms are born with different body parts than mollies."

"I know that, but why are Linnetkit and Rainkit allowed to sleep in the elders' den and I'm not?"

The brown tabby sighed. "It's complicated. You'll understand more when you're older."

"More grown-up buisness?" Emberkit wailed.

"Yes, yes," hushed Eelfoot. The queen and three kits crawled through the nursery's bracken-covered entrance. "Kestrelpelt, it's time for Rainkit and Linnetkit's nap."

Kestrelpelt yawned and looked up from her mossy nest. "Oh, is it really? It looks like it's time for mine too, haha."

Eelfoot plopped Linnetkit down by Kestrelpelt's white belly and helped Rainkit over the nest. "They both fell asleep during Whitewhisker's story. It was so precious."

"Oh, that's so cute. My little baby girls." Kestrelpelt snuggled her daughters to her belly, purring loudly.

"I made friends with Tornface!" Emberkit said, raising his stubby tail proudly.

"Did you?" asked Kestrelpelt. "Oh, that's so nice. Tornface gets so lonely since he's got no one his age to talk to. Did he tell you the story of how he used to be a ShadowClan cat?"

"Mmhmm. But he left out all the grown-up parts."

"Well, you're still young." Kestrelpelt patted him on the head gently. "When you get bigger, he'll tell you everything. He loves to hear himself talk!"

"Oh, be kind," Eelfoot chided, butting Kestrelpelt with her head.

"You know it's true!" Kestrelpelt said with a laugh.

Emberkit smiled. He liked when everyone was happy best. He didn't like it when the queens got into fights, or when they got snippy with Beechfur.

Speaking of Beechfur, the grayish-brown cat came stalking through the entrance with a cough to announce his presence. "Eelfoot?" he called from the den's opening. "Is Emberkit with you?"

She turned her head towards the medicine cat. "Yes, he's right here."

"Hello, Beechfur!" Emberkit mewed, bounding towards the older cat.

"Hey, squirt," Beechfur purred with a friendly nuzzle. "How are you today?"

"Sleepy. But it's almost time for my nap, so that's okay."

"That's good, that's good. Are you feeling sniffly? Are you coughing?"

"Nuh-uh, I'm okay!"

"He was coughing a little last night while he slept," Eelfoot said, meeting them at the den and putting her paws around Emberkit. "But I think he's okay now, since he hasn't coughed all day."

"We'll keep a close eye on that, but he looks okay to me." Beechfur laid down on all fours and poked Emberkit with his nose. "No eye discharge, no runny nose, ears look clean."

He nuzzled Emberkit roughly in one of his ears, causing Emberkit to cry and giggle loudly. "Beechfur, that tickles!"

"Tickle receptors are in working order!" Beechfor said with a chuckle. He rose to his paws and looked at Eelfoot with a smile. "He's perfectly healthy today."

"Oh, that's good. He's been doing really well this moon, hasn't he?"

"Yes, which is a blessing." He swiveled his ears down towards Emberkit. "You gave us quite the scare with that whitecough last moon, little fella."

"But I got all better." Emberkit shuffled his paws. "How's Goosepaw?"

"She's doing all right." Beechfur nodded quickly. His eyes were uncertain, and Emberkit guessed that the only reason he didn't say anything more was because Goosepaw was his little sister from another litter. As if to shake off Emberkit's thoughts, he nudged the kit with a paw. "Now get some rest. That'll keep you growing strong and fit."

"Yeah, okay. Bye bye, Beechfur." Emberkit clambered over the soft white down and into the mossy nest, nestling in his favorite clump of pigeon feathers.

As he shut his eyes and pretended to sleep, he heard Eelfoot and Beechfur still whispering. "You know, I'm still worried about his..." Eelfoot said in a hushed voice. "His little problem."

Beechfur gasped quietly. "He did it again? What happened this time?"

"Aspenfur came in to visit Cherrytail's kits, and Brokentail came in with her. Emberkit was playing with Linnetkit and Rainkit, and he - Brokentail - said something like, 'Oh, fighting like a strong boy?' And Emberkit said, 'I'm not a boy.' It was so embarassing, Beechfur. Why does he keep doing this?"

Beechfur sighed with a frustrated growl, and Emberkit pressed down into the moss, feeling shame course through his body. He shut his eyes tight until it hurt as he heard Beechfur say, "I don't know, but I hope he grows out of it. He has to be taught that he is a tom. You're not coddling him too much, are you?"

"No more than I would any kit!" Eelfoot hissed, clearly offended.

"Shh, shh, keep your voice down, it's bad enough as it is," chided Beechfur. "I'm just saying, he's your firstborn, it's natural for new mothers to be a little over-protective."

"Like you would know what it's like!" Eelfoot hissed. Emberkit peeked over the edge of the nest and saw the fur on the back of her neck standing on end.

"Uh oh," he whispered in a tiny voice.

Eelfoot gave him a quick glance back, and he swiftly dropped back down to sleep. She sighed. "We'll talk later. I'm sure he'll grow out of it. It's just a phase."

"Hmm," was all Beechfur said. "Take care, Eelfoot. Call me if you need anything."

"Yep." Eelfoot stalked back into the nest, curling around Emberkit and holding him tight against her belly. He squirmed awkwardly in place, suddenly feeling swallowed up by her touch in a bad way.

Eelfoot gave him a lick. "You heard all that, didn't you, baby?"

Emberkit grunted, not wanting to look her in the eyes. He didn't know why he felt so bad, but he felt sad and angry with himself and he didn't want to be around anybody.

The tabby sighed. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just don't want you to get hurt by anyone else. It's... it's not normal for toms to say they're not toms, you know? And I just want to protect you. That's all. I love you, Emberkit."

Emberkit still didn't feel right, but he tried to reason with himself that at least his mother still cared. "Love you too, Mama."

"Now get some sleep. It's been a long day for you."


	5. Death

Moons passed. Linnetkit and Rainkit and grown up and had become apprentices, Linnetpaw and Rainpaw. Kestrelpelt was given the opportunity to mentor Linnetpaw, which delighted both mollies, while jolly Darkcloud was Rainpaw's mentor. Emberkit had lost his older playmates now that they were busy with apprentice duties, and so he talked more with Cherrytail's litter. At least, he talked to Tawnykit. Duckkit was very fragile, and was a sickly sort. Emberkit felt sorry for him, he never seemed happy about anything. He just looked miserable with mucus constantly dripping from his nose and coughs making up every other breath.

Emberkit was five moons old now, very close to becoming an apprentice. His mother, Eelfoot, reminded him of it every day. "Groom yourself better, sweetie," she would say as she gave him his morning bath. "You'll be an apprentice soon, and you're getting too big for me to clean you!" Truth be told, he liked the attention too much to try now.

Early one greenleaf morning, after his morning bath, Emberkit looked up at Eelfoot and said, "Eelfoot, may I go play with Tawnykit?"

Eelfoot gave him a sad look and sighed. She closed her eyes for a bit, which worried Emberkit. Then she looked at him with her brilliant orange eyes and said, "Honey, today isn't a very good day to play."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Duckkit is very, very sick," Eelfoot explained gently. "Beechfur and Goosepaw brought him into the den last night, along with Cherrytail and Tawnykit. Duckkit is on his way to StarClan today. I'm sorry, sweetie." She nuzzled the stunned Emberkit, pulling him close to her soft body.

Emberkit's ginger jaw hung open in despair. "But... But StarClan is for warriors! He can't go there!"

Eelfoot winced. "Not... not always, Emberkit." She sighed deeply. "You can go in and say your last goodbyes, if you like. Tawnykit could use a friend right now, too. But you don't have to go if you don't want to."

Emberkit looked at his paws. Should he go? He was scared of dying, scared of having to go to StarClan before getting to do anything fun or great. What if dying spread like greencough? If he watched Duckkit die, would he die too?

But no, he reasoned with himself, that wouldn't be. Eelfoot kept him away from sickness. If dying was like sickness, she wouldn't even consider it. And poor Tawnykit! Duckkit was her brother, her baby brother. He had to go, he realized. It was the right thing to do.

"I wanna see Duckkit," he said as he looked up, purpose shining in his pale yellow eyes.

Eelfoot nodded. "Okay. Follow me, and try to keep your voice down when we go into Beechfur's den. Be gentle. Be kind. Do you know what kind means?"

Emberkit nodded. "It means when you're nice."

"That, and to treat someone like family. For at least a little while, be family to Cherrytail and Tawnykit. Love them, and Duckkit, like you love me."

Emberkit nodded somberly. Be like family. Be Duckkit's brother for the small amount of time he had left. He had to do that. That was the right thing to do, he believed.

Eelfoot and Emberkit walked side by side to Beechfur's den. Young Goosepaw sat at the entrance, her long white whiskers hanging limp by her muzzle in grief. Emberkit noticed that she looked exhausted. She and Beechfur must have been up all night tending to Duckkit.

Goosepaw gave herself a little shake as Eelfoot and Emberkit approached the medicine cat den. "Are you here to see Duckkit?" she asked.

Eelfoot nodded. "Yes, we are. Emberkit wants to say his last goodbyes."

Goosepaw sighed. "So sad, it's so sad..." She took the curtain of lichen that had been hastily hung in front of the den - probably to give Cherrytail, Tawnykit, and Duckkit privacy, Eelfoot would later explain - in her jaws and pulled it back. "Come in, come in."

Emberkit was marveled at how big it was. Herbs and berries and cobwebs lined the walls and floor, and the place had a strong, earthy smell to it. Then his eyes drifted to the middle of the den. He saw Beechfur and Cherrytail first, and he could see from the jagged movement of the ginger queen's shoulders that she was consumed by grief and pain. "My poor baby, my poor baby," she was saying in a gasping tone that tore at Emberkit's young heart. His ears pinned back in sympathy, but it was only at Eelfoot's gentle urging that he dared to approach the small family.

"Cherrytail," Eelfoot mewed softly. "It's just me and Emberkit."

Cherrytail looked up, and Emberkit could see she was holding Tawnykit between her front paws, clutching her for dear life. "Oh, thank you so much, Eelfoot. Hello, Emberkit, thank you for coming. It means a lot to us."

"I hate to ask, but how is he?" Eelfoot asked Beechfur.

"He's not in pain, I assure you," Beechfur said with a sigh. "His breathing is very slow now, from the poppy seeds. The rest of his body will slow down in time." He hung his head low and brought his face close to Cherrytail's. "I assure you, Cherrytail, he will not hurt. He's going to go into a deep, long sleep, and then StarClan will take him mercifully."

Cherrytail looked at him desperately. "And you're positive? You're sure my baby's not hurting?"

"I swear on my honor as a medicine cat, Duckkit isn't hurting anymore."

Emberkit crept close to Duckkit's nest. Duckkit's nose wasn't runny anymore, and his green eyes, like his mother's, were shut tight, but peacefully. His reddish-brown sides rose up... down... up... down... like he was dreaming. Emberkit was sad, but a part of him was relieved that he wasn't suffering anymore.

"Hi, Duckkit," Emberkit squeaked softly, curling up in a ball in front of Duckkit's nest. "It's me, it's Emberkit. I just... I wanted to tell you that you were a really good cat. And you were my friend, even if we couldn't play much." Emberkit reached a paw out to touch one of Duckkit's. "I'm gonna miss you a lot, Duckkit."

Eelfoot came around Emberkit and touched her nose to Duckkit's side. "You were such a good little kit, Duckkit," she murmured. "Such a good kit. You made Cherrytail so proud. You made all of us proud."

"Yeah," Tawnykit piped up. "All of us."

All of them were silent, and they laid down on the floor and simply waited, watching the at last peaceful Duckkit slowly fade. Kestrelpelt, Rainpaw, and Linnetpaw, as well as some other warriors, including Heathernose and Leopardstar, all came in to bid their goodbyes, but had to leave quickly. Life didn't stop for those who weren't dying, after all.

Emberkit crept close to Tawnykit, and Cherrytail wrapped Duckkit up in her paws instead, nuzzling him and making a low, moaning sound as she rubbed her face all over his tiny body. As Emberkit and Tawnykit curled up together, Beechfur came and fed Duckkit a poppy seed. "This should be the last one," he said in a voice that was trying so hard to be comforting, but had sadness hanging on every word. Cherrytail wailed quietly, the finality of the words turning her face ugly and wretched.

"Duckkit, my Duckkit, my dear baby," she cried as she held him tight. "Oh, my sweet little Duckkit...I'm so sorry, baby. I tried. I tried so hard."

"No one could have done better than you, Cherrytail," Beechfur said, resting his paw on her shoulders. "He loved you so much. He always will." He looked at the tiny Tawnykit, who hadn't said much of anything. "You too, Tawnykit."

Tawnykit nodded, but didn't say anything. She looked stoic, as if trying not to break, as if not feeling anything at all would shield her from the pain her mother was in. Emberkit rested a foreleg around her shoulders.

Eelfoot leaned in close to Emberkit and whispered very quietly, "Sweetie, do you want to leave? You can, it's okay. I know this is scary." But Emberkit shook his head. Now wasn't the time to run, not when Cherrytail and Tawnykit were so sad.

"I'm sad too," was all he said to Tawnykit, and though Tawnykit made no noise, Emberkit felt her crumble utterly beneath his paw. She forced herself up and crawled in Cherrytail's forelegs, resting her head on Duckkit's head.

They stayed like that for a while, until Cherrytail gasped. "Duckkit?" she asked. "Duckkit...?"

As Cherrytail pulled her head away, Emberkit could see that Duckkit had finally stopped breathing. He hung limp in Cherrytail's paws like fresh-kill, and Tawnykit let out a gasp of horror. "Duckkit!" she cried out, but no movement was made. He was gone, really gone.

Beechfur hung his head and beckoned Goosepaw quietly. "Tell anyone who comes by to wait unless it's a dire emergency. Cherrytail and Tawnykit need to be alone with Duckkit right now."

Goosepaw knew what that meant, and nodded somberly. She left as quickly as she came, resuming her post in front of the den.

Eelfoot shifted awkwardly. "Do you want us to stay, Cherrytail?"

She nodded sadly as she put Duckkit down in his nest. "Please. I just need a friend right now."

"We're both right here," came Eelfoot's gentle reply, touching her paw with Cherrytail's. The two queens leaned on each other in silent grief, while the kits sat beside each other, looking at Duckkit's body.

Tawnykit was the first to speak. "I think he might have wanted it this way," she whispered to Emberkit.

"Why?"

"Duckkit was always sick. Always complaining that something hurt him. Everyone worried about what kind of apprentice he would be. I think... I think this might have been best. He's not hurting anymore, I think." She looked at Emberkit nervously, the black flecks just above her eyes on her mostly-ginger face emphazising her wide eyes. "They wouldn't make you stay sick in StarClan, would they?"

Emberkit searched for an answer for a few moments. "Probably not," he decided. "At least, not for kittens. Maybe if you were bad, but kittens are never bad. Not in heart, anyway."

Tawnykit nodded and rested her nose in Duckkit's flank. "He's getting cold, Mama," she squeaked. No one scolded her for being informal.

"That happens when you die," Beechfur said gently. "Your body gets cold and stiff. But I assure you, since Duckkit's not in his body anymore, he doesn't feel a thing. He's okay now. StarClan has been merciful."

Emberkit shuddered at that word, merciful. From what he knew of Whitewhisker and Tornface's stories, mercy was shown when you were deserving of bad things but got a lesser punishment. StarClan are merciful to those who break the warrior code but repent. Why would they have to show mercy to an innocent kit? The idea made his skin crawl.

But he put that aside, for now. He needed to keep plenty of room in his heart to grieve, and so he laid beside Tawnykit and sniffed in the last of Duckkit's scent. The two kits had never been close, but it shook Emberkit to his core that a cat could be breathing one moment and then not the next.

 _Life is precious,_  he thought, _and that's why warriors don't need to kill to win. That's not our job._  He looked at his mother, his best friend, and her mother, and saw how sad they were, and especially how Cherrytail and Eelfoot were literally leaning on each other for support.  _That is. That's my job. I have to protect them. I have to be strong._

He didn't know what strength meant, and he didn't know how he would even begin to protect his friends or his family, but he figured it might start by mimicking Eelfoot and leaning on Tawnykit. Mercifully, she accepted the touch, leaning into his body as well. It would be a long, long day.


	6. Apprenticeship

Days passed since Duckkit's death. The Clan all mourned him, and Beechfur and Kestrelpelt tried to help cheer up Cherrytail. "Look, a bluebottle!" Beechfur said as the large insect flew past his nose. "Do you remember when Duckkit caught one of thse, Cherrytail?"

"I remember!" said Kestrelpelt. "She'd never looked prouder, and the way little Duckkit's chest puffed out, like he'd took down all of LionClan!"

But Cherrytail didn't really want to hear. It wasn't that she was unkind, but that she just wanted to spend time grieving on her own. Eelfoot suggested to Emberkit that he take Tawnykit outside to play, to give Cherrytail some space. "Besides," Eelfoot had added with a grin, "you and Tawnykit will be apprentices soon, so it'll help Cherrytail and me to learn that you're not our babies anymore."

Emberkit and Tawnykit had grown close in the few days they had, playing and talking quite a bit. "Look at them!" Aspenfur, a gray-furred molly had said as they tumbled together in the clearing of camp. "The perfect little pair!"

Nightface, an exceptionally lovely black molly, chuckled and agreed. "You can hardly tell them apart!"

The whole Clan seemed delighted at their friendship, especially in the wake of such tragedy. Perhaps they were just grasping at things to be happy about.

It was late in greenleaf when Leopardstar called a Clan meeting. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join here beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!"

Eelfoot nudged Emberkit in their nest. "Get up, Emberkit!" she whispered excitedly. "Get Cherrytail and Tawnykit, I think today is your big day!"

Emberkit practically leapt to his paws. "You really think so?" he asked eagerly. When Eelfoot nodded, he squeaked and ran across the nursery. "Cherrytail! Tawnykit! Come on, Clan meeting! This could be our big day, Tawnykit!"

Tawnykit poked her head up from her nest. "You mean-?!"

"Yeah! We might be becoming apprentices! Come on, come on, hurry!" Emberkit pranced in place, nervous and excited all at once.

Tawnykit leapt from her nest and tugged at Cherrytail's ear. "Cherrytail, come on! You don't want to miss my apprentice ceremony, do you?"

The ginger tabby queen rose sluggishly, giving herself a hard shake. "No, no, I wouldn't miss it for the world..." She yawned and stretched, and Emberkit heard her bones crack and pop. "Sorry, honey. I haven't been feeling very well lately. I'll be right there, you three go ahead, I'll catch up."

Eelfoot nodded and herded the two kits out of the nursery. "Come on, get moving!"

They took a seat behind Aspenfur, Nightface, and Lightfur, one of the senior warriors. Leopardstar's yellow eyes scanned the Clan. "Is everyone present?" she asked her deputy, Heathernose.

Cherrytail stumbled out of the nursery at that moment, making Heathernose flick his ears. "All are present and accounted for, Leopardstar."

"Good." Her golden tabby pelt shimmered in the midday sun and she stood with pride. "Today, ThunderClan, is a momentous day in the lives of all of us. It was not long ago that another one of our kits was forced to join the ranks of mighty StarClan. But the death of Duckkit will not be in vain, for today, we have a very important ceremony to perform." She looked towards the nursery. "Emberkit, Tawnykit, please come forward."

Emberkit's paws tingled, and his mother gave him a swift lick behind his ears. "Good luck, baby boy. I love you."

"Love you too, Mama," he whispered as he ran forward, Tawnykit in stride.

The warriors made a path for the two kits, and they entered a small clearing in front of the Highrock, directly in front of Heathernose and Leopardstar. "Tawnykit, we all know that given the choice, you would be standing here next to Duckkit," Leopardstar said, and Tawnykit dipped her head low. "But his spirit will guide you and give you strength throughout your warrior traning. I say this to be as true as the sun is constant, StarClan is real, and your beloved never leave." Murmurs of agreement rippled through the Clan. When the noise died, Leopardstar continued. "Now, it is time for your apprentice ceremonies." She looked at Tawnykit first."Tawnykit, you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Tawnypaw. Your mentor will be Fireclaw. I hope Fireclaw will pass down all he knows on to you."

Leopardstar called out to her Clan, "Fireclaw, come forward." A strong ginger tom with white paws approached. "Fireclaw, you are ready to take on an apprentice. You had recieved excellent training from Darkcloud, and you have shown to be valiant and skilled in battle. You will be mentor to Tawnypaw, and I expect you to pass on all you know to her."

Fireclaw stepped close to Tawnypaw and lowered himself to be at her level. Tawnypaw, remembering how Rainpaw and Linnetpaw's ceremony had gone, confidently touched noses with Fireclaw. Her eyes lit up with a friendly challenge, which Fireclaw seemed to accept with a silent smirk. Emberkit could see that Leopardstar had chosen well for Tawnypaw's mentor.

"Emberkit," Leopardstar said, making Emberkit turn towards the Highrock sharply, looking straight up at his leader, "you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you earn your warrior name, you will be known as Emberpaw. Your mentor will be Brokentail. I hope he passes down all he knows to you."

 _Brokentail?!_  Emberpaw thought nervously.  _But he's the one who I made myself look like a fool in front of all those moons ago! What if he doesn't let me forget it?!_

"Brokentail, come forward," Leopardstar said, and the gray tabby tom came forward, holding up his crooked, almost lightning bolt-shaped tail proudly. "Brokentail, you are ready to take on an apprentice. You recieved excellent training from Heathernose, and have shown yourself to be hardy and agile. I expect you to pass on all you know to Emberpaw."

Emberpaw turned to face Brokentail, who had a smile as crooked as his tail. "We meet again, eh?" Brokentail joked under his breath, offering his nose. Emberpaw raised his forepaw nervously, but leaned in and touched noses with Brokentail. "No take backs!" Broktentail joked, giving Emberpaw a playful tap on the shoulder.

Emberpaw jumped, but then laughed.  _Maybe this won't be so bad after all._

"Emberpaw! Tawnypaw!" the gathered cats cheered, with Eelfoot and Cherrytail's voices rising high above the clamor. The new apprentices looked around in awe at their Clanmates.

"We don't usually cheer for apprentices," Brokentail whispered into Emberpaw's ear, "but in the wake of losing Duckkit, we're desperate for anything to make us cheer."

Leopardstar lashed her tail, accompanied by Heathernose's loud cry of, "Silence! Leopardstar wishes to speak!" The Clan fell into silence.

"Thank you, Heathernose." She cleared her throat. "ThunderClan, we have one more ceremony to perform today. As we take Emberpaw and Tawnypaw onto the path of the warrior way, we acknowledge the sacrifice made by one who boldly lived as a warrior for many long moons, and send him respectfully into retirement, where he will be cared for by the whole Clan that he worked so hard to protect. Lightfur, please step forward."

The brown and white patched cat stepped forward, seemingly gliding through his Clanmates. He gave a friendly wink to Emberpaw and Tawnypaw as he went. "You'll be bringing me moss soon!" he chuckled.

Lightfur stood in front of the Highrock, and Fireclaw and Brokentail edged back into the crowd, their new apprentices following carefully. Leopardstar looked down on Lightfur with a soft look in her eyes. "Before I begin the ceremony, I would like to say a few words for Lightfur."

"Don't take too long, Leopardstar, I'm not getting any younger!" Lightfur called, then respectfully dipped his head, not meaning any offense by his comment. Even stern Heathernose chuckled, which allowed the Clan to laugh comfortably.

Leopardstar sighed. "Such a joker," she muttered, before settling into her usual proud stance. "Lightfur, it was many moons ago that you and your good mother, Merry, came to the edge of ThunderClan territory to give us medicine and food in our time of grave need. ThunderClan owes you and Merry our very lives for your nobility, and we thank you endlessly for that. I was but a mere warrior at the time, and I remember the first thing you said to me was, 'Gee, Leopardstream, I guess the fish are biting pretty darn well!'" She pointed to her scarred face as she mimicked Lightfur's clipped, high voice, and everyone laughed comfortably. Emberpaw shifted his paws, he couldn't wait to ask Lightfur for that story!

"You became an apprentice shortly thereafter, and provided the Clan with strength, intelligence, and a sense of wit and humor that helped us through some of our darkest hours. It mattered not to you how the other Clans percieved you for your kittypet origins, only that you could be of use to ThunderClan. You have done more for this Clan than many warriors will accomplish in their lifetime. ThunderClan owes you its life and its thanks for many seasons to come." She raised her tail, and the Clan cheered happily. "Lightfur! Lightfur!"

Lightfur pulled his ears back, wiggling his stumpy tail nervously. As the noise died down, he looked up at the Highrock. "You honor me too much, Leopardstar. I did what any good cat could have, should have done."

Her expression softened, making her usually intimidating scars seem to melt into her fur. "You are too good. But, it is now time to honor your sacrifice. We shall begin the ceremony, unless you have anything you would like to say?"

Lightfur shook his head, overcome with emotion.

Leopardstar took a deep breath. "Lightfur," she said with the same tone that she had when giving the apprentice ceremony, "is it your wish to give up the name of a warrior and go to join the elders?"

"It is," the stocky patched cat said.

Leopardstar nodded. "Your Clan honors you and all the service you have given to us. I call upon StarClan to give you many moons of rest."

Lightfur nodded deeply, and the Clan called out his name again, passionately and joyfully. Lightfur made his way towards the elders' den, and the Clan continued to cheer for him, right until he sat down in the elders' den.

Leopardstar waited until her Clan's voices died down. "There is one more bit of news before you are dismissed. The next Gathering is in a quarter moon. If you wish to go, now is the time to prove yourselves worthy."

"Also," called Heathernose, "there have been traces of RiverClan at Sunningrocks. Apprentices should always have a warrior with them when going by Sunningrocks, and warriors should go in groups of three or more when hunting near Sunningrocks until further notice. Stay alert, ThunderClan."

Leopardstar nodded. "That is all. This Clan meeting is over." She leapt gracefully from the Highrock, and the cats slowly dispersed, chatting and talking amongst themselves. They all seemed much more cheerful now than they had this morning, which made Emberpaw happy.

Brokentail and Fireclaw looked at their apprentices. "We'll let you two share tongues with your new denmates, and your mothers," Fireclaw said in his deep voice, "and after sunhigh we'll go explore the territory."

"Sounds good to me! Thank you, Fireclaw," Tawnypaw chirped happily, running off to meet Rainpaw and Linnetpaw.

Emberpaw looked for Eelfoot. His goodbye to her had been rushed, and he wanted to give her a proper one. She found her sitting near the fresh-kill pile, noticing how thick and round her black stripes were in comparison to some other cats, like Brokentail or Cherrytail. One could almost hardly tell that she was a brown tabby, since her fur was predominantly black. Odd that I never really took that in before, he thought as he approached.

Eelfoot was talking with Darkcloud, and Emberpaw saw him say something, but couldn't hear what it was. She burst out laughing, waving her paw at him. "You are too much, Darkcloud!" Emberpaw smiled. Darkcloud and Eelfoot had become very close, and Emberpaw knew that it was any day now that they would become mates. He was a little hurt that Eelfoot never talked about it with him, but Darkcloud made her happy, which made Emberpaw happy.

Emberpaw cleared his throat, and they both turned to look at him. "Well, isn't it the bright, shining apprentice, Emberpaw!" Darkcloud said with a grin. "Emberpaw, doesn't that sound grand? I could get used to calling you that!"

Emberpaw dipped his head in respect. "Thank you, Darkcloud. Eelfoot, may I speak with you, please?"

"So polite! You did a good job with him, Eelfoot," Darkcloud said, rising to his paws. "I'll leave you two alone for now. Oh, we are still hunting later, right, Eelfoot?"

Eelfoot giggled. "Yes, yes, I'll meet you at the tunnel after sunhigh. Get lost, you mangy beast, I need to speak with my son." She nipped at Darkcloud's front leg, making him growl playfully as he ran off.

Eelfoot turned to look at Emberpaw, her eyes shining. "Look at you, an apprentice at last." She butted him with her head, purring deeply. "I'm so proud of you, baby."

"I just wanted to thank you," Emberpaw said, nuzzling Eelfoot gently. "I promise I'll make you proud."

"I know you will."

"Emberpaw! Emberpaw, come here!" Linnetpaw crowed from across the way, waving her huge, bushy tail. "We've got to show you the apprentices' den!"

Eelfoot giggled. "I think your friends want you."

Emberpaw chuckled. "Really? I'd have never guessed."

The tabby queen laughed. "Such wit, so like your father!" She purred. "Go on, Emberpaw. I'll always be here if you need me."

Emberpaw twitched his whiskers. "Thank you, mother."

She blinked at him slowly.

"Em-ber-paaaaaw!" Linnetpaw yowled. "Are you deaf? Come! Here!"

Emberpaw turned on his heels, running to meet her. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" As he dashed across the Clan camp, purpose and meaning blazed in his heart. He was here! He was on his way to becoming a real warrior! The sun could not have shone brighter that day.


	7. Exploration

Emberpaw raced up to Linnetpaw, Rainpaw, and Tawnypaw. Linnetpaw had a cocky grin on her face. "Glad to see your hearing still works, Emberpaw," she purred.

Emberpaw nudged her playfully. "Your bellowing could cure the deaf, you should talk to Beechfur and Goosepaw."

Rainpaw stepped in, nervously twitching her ears. She hated any sort of hint of a confrontation, even jokes. "Why don't we show them the apprentices' den, Linnetpaw?"

"Great idea!" Linnetpaw mewed, swishing her long, fluffy tail. The four young cats walked inside the apprentices' den, which was a large bush with a wide bottom. It was warm and kept them dry from the elements, though it wasn't quite as securely built as the nursery and the medicine cat den. Emberpaw noticed there were four nests, two thick, mossy ones and two lightly-made ones made of moss and some feathers.

"These middle nests are mine and Rainpaw's," Linnetpaw explained. "We tried making two new ones for you and Tawnypaw, but we didn't have a lot of time. After your mentors take you outside to explore the territory, we can ask Leopardstar if it's okay to look for more moss for you guys. She shouldn't have a problem with it as long as we give some to the elders."

"It's a little drafty in here compared to most days," Rainpaw added. "It's our job to keep our den warm and safe, just like it's the warriors' job to keep their dens spruced and neat. If there's ever a really bad storm and we can't fix the mess, we can ask the warriors for help, but we should try to fix it by ourselves first."

Emberpaw nodded, drinking in the smells. It smelled strongest of Linnetpaw and Rainpaw, and the old taste of some of the newest warriors still hung in the air.

"You guys make yourselves comfortable," Linnetpaw said to the group. "I'll bring us some fresh-kill."

"Thanks, Linnetpaw," Emberpaw said before curling up in the nest closest to Rainpaw's. It was the closest to the entrance of the den, which Emberpaw liked. It reminded him of his nest in the nursery.

Tawnypaw kneaded her nest, trying to make it as soft as possible before settling down. "It's a little big for just four cats," she said.

"Mmm," was Rainpaw's quiet reply. "There's usually more apprentices, or so says Darkcloud, but..."

Emberpaw flicked his ears. "But what?"

Rainpaw sighed. "He says that ThunderClan's kits haven't been surviving well. That there's something wrong with our Clan blood that's killing our kits."

Tawnypaw curled up. "You mean like Duckkit?"

Rainpaw nodded. "Hollykit too, and some others." The silver tabby turned to look at Emberpaw. "Did anyone tell you that you were supposed to have siblings, but they all died?"

Emberpaw's jaw dropped. "I thought I was Eelfoot's only kit!"

"No, you were her only kit to survive. She must not have told you so you wouldn't feel like you weren't missing anything." Rainpaw tucked her paws under her chest. "Your siblings were all dead when they were born. Your mother didn't even name them."

Emberpaw felt sick. "How many were there?"

"Four. Everyone was expecting Eelfoot to have a big litter. You can imagine how devastated she was when only one even made it out of her womb alive."

"How do you know all this?"

"Darkcloud told me," she replied, tucking her ears back nervously. "He's very close with Eelfoot, they've been best friends for a really long time. I think they might become mates now that Leopardwhisker's been gone for so long."

Something clicked in Emberpaw's mind, but at that moment, Linnetpaw came in with a mouth full of prey. "Fresh-kill time!" she announced through fur and flesh.

"Oh, boy, I'm starving!" Tawnypaw said, jumping to her paws and grabbing a big red squirrel out of Linnetpaw's jaws. Linnetpaw sneezed and dropped the rest.

"You could have waited, you raven!" Linnetpaw pouted, but Tawnypaw just giggled.

"Too slow, don't you know?" Tawnypaw purred, taking an extra huge bite out of the squirrel's fat belly just to taunt Linnetpaw.

Rainpaw gently took the piece of fresh-kill closest to her, a skinny vole. "Now, now, let's not fight..."

"We're not fighting, Rainpaw, chill out," scoffed Tawnypaw.

Emberpaw lowered his ears. "You could be a little kinder, Tawnypaw. Linnetpaw didn't have to get anything for us." He looked at the long-haired apprentice. "Which do you want, the pigeon or the mouse?"

"I ate a while ago, so I'll just have the mouse to fill me up before I go on patrol," Linnetpaw mewed, taking it in her jaws. "Take the pigeon, I know how much you like them."

"Thanks, Linnetpaw, you're great." Emberpaw took the bird in his jaws and his mouth watered at its salty, gamey flavor. The four apprentices sat in relative silence, the sounds of bones and flesh snapping taking the place of conversation. Emberpaw unceremoniously spat out a feather as he looked at the group.

"Hey, I just thought of something," he announced, making all his friends look up at him. "If our leader is Leopardstar, how come my father was Leopardwhisker? Cats in the same Clan aren't supposed to have the same name."

Rainpaw yawned. "WindClan deserter, like Tawnyfur."

Emberpaw thumped his tail in confusion. "Huh? Why did Leopardstar let WindClan deserters in ThunderClan?"

"Our Clan has bad blood," Rainpaw explained. "If you look around, you'll see not many of us have different looking pelts. We're pretty much all family at this point and it's getting harder and harder to see who is related to who. That's why ThunderClan has been letting outsiders like Lightfur, Tawnyfur, and Leopardwhisker in. We need new blood."

Tawnypaw pouted. "Tawnyfur should change his name!" she protested. "It's not fair, what if I get the name Tawnyfur? Then no one will tell us apart!"

"Unless Tawnyfur gets really badly injured, he's supposed to keep his name," Linnetpaw explained. "Clan protocol. But don't worry, you probably won't be named Tawnyfur, Leopardstar is fairer than that."

"But wait, I don't understand," Emberpaw interrupted. "Why did Tawnyfur and Leopardwhisker abandon WindClan? That's a sign of disloyalty."

Rainpaw shifted. "I don't know, I only know what Darkcloud tells me."

Emberpaw clenched his jaw but said nothing. He twitched his whiskers suspiciously. If what Rainpaw said was true, and Tawnyfur and Leopardwhisker were deserters, they had to have a good reason for leaving WindClan and joining ThunderClan. But what?

"Hate to break up this conversation," Fireclaw's deep voice rang through the den, "but Emberpaw and Tawnypaw are needed."

"Coming!" chirped Tawnypaw, gobbling the last of her squirrel. "Leave the tail, I might use it for my nest, okay?"

"Ew, you're so gross!" Linnetpaw said as she wrinkled her muzzle in disgust. Tawnypaw simply tore past her, nearly barreling into Fireclaw. Emberpaw chuckled and rose to his paws, following with a delibarate walk.

"Are we going to explore ThunderClan now?" Emberpaw asked.

"Indeed you are," Fireclaw replied. "Come along now." He turned and beckoned with his thick, fluffy tail for the newest apprentices to follow.

They met Brokentail, who was standing by the Highrock, whispering to Heathernose. "Yes, yes, I'll let you know if anything happens, Heathernose," Brokentail was saying.

Heathernose nodded. "Good. Be off then." He departed from Brokentail, giving Emberpaw a severe look. Emberpaw shifted awkwardly, crouching slightly in fear. What had he done wrong already?

"We're ready when you are, Brokentail," Fireclaw said.

"Good thing I'm ready right now!" Brokentail replied, giving his light gray fur a quick lick. "Off we go."

They went in a single file line out the gorse tunnel of ThunderClan's camp, and Emberpaw was amazed by the smell of the forest. "It's so rich!" he mewed in awe, staring up at the tall trees surrounding him.

Brokentail twitched his whiskers in amusement "Good word, Emberpaw. ThunderClan is the richest territory, we have the most fertile soil and the widest variety of tree-dwelling prey in the Clans. Can either of you name some tree-dwelling prey?"

"Squirrels!" Tawnypaw instantly replied, a hungry look in her eyes.

"Pigeons," Emberpaw offered, "and jays."

"Good start. Any more?"

"Owls live in trees, but they're not really prey," Tawnypaw said, shaking her light ginger and black fur. "Bats? Um..."

Fireclaw gave her a playful cuff. "No need to hurt yourself, we've barely left camp. You'll become quite well acquainted with all the different sorts of prey in the forest as you learn to hunt different animals. In time, you'll be able to name every animal in these forest, spot the differences between the male and female of the species, tell what season they're most plentiful in, and know tips and tricks on how to hunt each kind. The whole world will be at your paws once you know about your prey."

Emberpaw's eyes glittered. This was so exciting! He hadn't realized there was so much he didn't know, but now he wanted to learn everything he could! A quick glance at Tawnypaw could tell him that she was thinking the same thing. That made Emberpaw's chest glow, they always seemed to be thinking the same thing at the same time.

"Fireclaw, let's take them by the Twolegplace border first," Brokentail said. "It's closest to ThunderClan's camp, and we might be able to introduce them to Merry."

"Oh, you didn't know?" Fireclaw said. "Merry's gone from this Twolegplace. Lightfur went to see her yesterday, and he said a kittypet named Jack told him they'd moved away. He was quite upset, the poor cat."

"Oh, what a shame," Brokentail replied, lowering his tail. "Merry was so kind, it would have been wonderful to introduce these two to her." He scratched behind his ear, knocking a flea to the ground. "No matter. We'll move there anyway and test their scenting abilities."

Brokentail and Fireclaw proceeded to show Tawnypaw and Emberpaw around their territory. They saw Twolegplace and tested their scenting skills, which were poor but showed promise, or so Brokentail said. They then passed Treecutplace, Sunningrocks, Fourtrees, the Great Sycamore, and the Owl Tree. Emberpaw and Tawnypaw were getting very tired and started to pant.

"What, need a rest already?" Fireclaw scoffed, but the look in his eyes told the apprentices he was only teasing them. "No need to worry. We're going to show you the Thunderpath and then head back for the day. You've been very good so far."

"Yes," Brokentail agreed with a nod. "Very quiet and polite, that's good. Keep that up and we'll be able to help you train without any issues."

Emberpaw and Tawnypaw looked at each other with excited grins. They hadn't expected to get so much praise from their mentors so early, especially when they hadn't done anything impressive yet.

"Do you remember Linnetpaw and Rainpaw on their first patrol?" Fireclaw asked his older friend. "So noisy, that Linnetpaw! Never stops chatting."

Brokentail laughed. "She's very loud, but at least her conversation is interesting. It's better than trying to talk to Heathernose for anything other than business."

"Hey," Fireclaw warned, "that is my brother you're talking about." He seemed to ponder for a moment. "But you are right, he does have a stick up his rear most of the time."

There was a sharp, salty smell that began to puncture Emberpaw's nose, and he crinkled his face in disgust. He looked at Tawnypaw and saw the same look on her face. "You smell it, too?" he asked.

"That would be the Thunderpath you smell," Brokentail told him. "Reeks, doesn't it? You'll see it soon, we're getting close."

As if on cue, a wide, flat, and black stone came into view. It laid out across the grass for foxlengths and foxlengths, and Emberpaw gasped. He quickly shut his mouth, as the stench entered the roof of his mouth and he could taste how foul it was.

"What is it?" Tawnypaw asked, curiosity hanging on every word.

"This is the Thunderpath," Fireclaw explained. "It was built by Twolegs long ago, and they ride their shiny monsters on it. The monsters usually stay on the Thunderpath, but sometimes swerve off, so stay vigilant as soon as you smell it."

"There are more Thunderpaths in the forest," Brokentail added. "When you go to Highstones, you will have to cross the Thunderpath. It is a difficult thing to do, since monsters usually do not stop for cats. Some might, but don't gamble with your life and assume they will. If you must ever cross a Thunderpath, make sure there are no monsters coming. We'll sit here and wait for one to pass so you can see what it's like."

"What if it swerves off the path?" Emberpaw asked nervously.

"We know these monsters better than you," Fireclaw said in an assuring way. "Don't worry; if Brokentail or I think a monster is headed our way, we'll tell you to run. They are easy to avoid if you see or hear them coming from far away, since they don't view us as prey."

Emberpaw nodded, satisfied by Fireclaw's answer, and the four cats huddled close together at the side of the Thunderpath. Emberpaw hoped they would leave soon, as the smell of the Thunderpath was making him dizzy.

He felt a vibration in the earth under his paws and shortly after heard a loud rumble.

"That's a monster," Brokentail said. "Watch it closely."

Emberpaw and Tawnypaw turned their heads. It was a large creature, green and hideous, and it was rushing straight towards them. Emberpaw was horrified but at the same time amazed, how could it move so fast without proper legs, or wings, or fins like a fish?

The monster tore past them at an incredible speed, and the breeze it left in its wake nearly knocked Emberpaw off his feet. He and Tawnypaw managed to stay upright and watched it go, their eyes wide as the moon.

"Do you understand how dangerous that thing is?" Brokentail asked, but not in a scolding way. They both nodded, and he said, "Good. It's very important that you keep far away from them. Twolegs may be able to ride in their bellies, but you should not go near them under any circumstances."

Brokentail looked at Fireclaw. "I think that's enough excitement for one day, what do you say?"

"I agree," Fireclaw said, pulling close to Tawnypaw, who was still trembling a bit. "Tawnypaw, are you all right?"

She nodded, before saying, "...That was  _awesome!_  Did you see how fast it was?  _Woosh!_  Ah, if only I could run that fast! I'd be the best warrior in ThunderClan!"

Fireclaw looked astonished, but then chuckled and rubbed her head with one of his big, white paws. "Silly girl," he told her. Emberpaw felt insulted for Tawnypaw, what did her being a molly have to do with anything?

But before he could say anything, Brokentail swished his crooked tail and beckoned them to follow him. "We'll head straight for camp now, it's been a long and exciting day for all of us."

Relieved, Tawnypaw and Emberpaw fell in stride together behind their mentors. They whispered excitedly to each other about their day.

"Fireclaw's so cool," Tawnypaw whispered. "Isn't he funny? We're going to be best friends by the time I'm a warrior!"

 _Only if he stops belittling you for being a molly,_  Emberpaw thought, but he chose not to say anything for fear of upsetting his friend. "Broktentail seems okay, but kind of strict," he replied in a hushed voice. "I'm a little nervous."

"Don't be! He just hasn't had an apprentice in a while, he wants to make a good impression on Leopardstar and Heathernose!" Tawnypaw assured him, but Emberpaw wasn't wholly convinced. Still, he thanked her for her kindness as they entered the camp. Thymetail and Lightningclaw were sharing tongues together, and Elmwhisker was chatting pleasantly with Nightface and Goosepaw.

"You two are off duty for the rest of the day," Fireclaw told them. "See if the elders need anything, but other than that you can rest for the day."

Emberpaw looked up at the sky, and he noticed the slightest rosy tinge staining the blue. Had it already gotten so late? He felt like almost no time had passed since the day began.

"Thank you, Fireclaw, Brokentail," Tawnypaw replied, before nudging Emberpaw with her hips. "Come on, let's go see if we can get moss with Linnetpaw and Rainpaw!"

Emberpaw sighed. "I think I'm going to take a nap before I move my legs anymore," he replied, stretching his back languidly.

"Fledgling!" Tawnypaw teased, cuffing his ears gently. "Okay, I understand. I'll let you know if we find anything, we'll bury something for you."

"Thanks, Tawnypaw," he replied with a friendly nuzzle. "You're the best."

"I know," she said, puffing her chest out proudly. She then trotted to where Rainpaw, Linnetpaw, and Tawnyfur were speaking, eagerly raising her tail and calling to the apprentices.

Emberpaw groaned as he stretched his back legs. "Is this what being an elder is like?" he said to himself, shaking them out. His legs felt like the flesh of fresh-kill, and he couldn't understand how he was still standing. He stalked off to the apprentice den, intent on a nap to rejuvinate.

He noticed Brokentail talking to Heathernose again. It made Emberpaw uncomfortable. What could they be talking about, and why did Heathernose give him that awful look earlier? As they passed, Emberpaw noticed that he caught the light ginger tom's eye, and the unfriendly squint Heathernose gave him as he passed by made the fur on the back of Emberpaw's neck stand up. Why did Heathernose have it out for him?

 _Don't think about it,_  he told himself.  _Just take a nap, you're probably imagining things._

Emberpaw walked into the empty den and curled up tight. He noticed that Linnetpaw and Rainpaw had left Tawnypaw's squirrel tail on her nest, and had even cleaned up the jagged mess of meat that Tawnypaw had left behind on it. Emberpaw purred. Linnetpaw might be rough around the edges, but she was a really good cat at her core. Rainpaw was very kind, too, even if she was less than good at handling conflict.

Emberpaw nestled into his paws, purring happily. Maybe he wouldn't have the comfort of his mother anymore, but at least he knew that his new denmates were good cats and good friends, and that was all the comfort he needed as he drifted off to sleep.

 


	8. Fear

The deep, rich forest loomed around him. Emberpaw drew in the smells, and it tasted like forest, but also of fire and ice, of danger and peace. With confidence, he stepped through the soft grass as birds chirped around him. He called to them, and they did not flee.

"Lovely, aren't they?" a soft voice behind him purred.

He turned and saw a transparent black molly with a white chest and paws, gazing at him with soft yellow eyes. "Who are you?"

"Call me Queen, for now," the molly said. Her gaze softened. "You're young, aren't you?"

Emberpaw nodded. "Yes. I just became an apprentice today. My name is Emberpaw."

Queen dipped her head. "It's good to meet you, little Emberpaw." She shifted her gaze upward, and Emberpaw followed it. He gasped sofltly. "Where is Silverpelt?"

"Far away from these skies, little one," Queen said as a soft breeze ruffled her thin fur. She looked at him intensely, but not cruelly. Emberpaw felt compelled to look back, raising the fur on his neck nervously.

"Ah, you feel fear at last," Queen said with an amused purr. "Tell me, are you afraid in ThunderClan?"

"Yes," Emberpaw said.

"Why? What are you afraid of?"

 _Failure,_  he thought, but his mouth moved faster than his thoughts. "Me."

Queen nodded knowingly. "In time, your fear will increase. I cannot help you, I cannot solve your problems. I give you no prophecy, only a warning: Fire leaves smoke in its trail. Where one thing burns, the forest blazes."

At the mere mention of fire, Emberpaw drew back, as though Queen would be set aflame at any moment. He drew his lip up nervously, baring his sharp, white fangs. "Don't test me."

"That isn't my job, little one. When you have found your truest self, your test will begin." She waved her paw dismissively. "Now, begone with you. Remember my name, and remember my words. Hold them dear, Emberpaw. They will mean more to you later."

"Emberpaw! Emberpaw!" a voice called, but it sounded far away. Emberpaw looked to and fro, but couldn't find them.

'Who is it? Who's there?"

"Em-ber-paaaaaaw!"

Emberpaw jumped and his eyes opened roughly, and he bashed right into Linnetpaw's face. She threw her paw at him with claws unsheathed, hissing. "You rude jerk!" Linnetpaw hissed.

Emberpaw rubbed his head, still reeling.  _Was I dreaming?_  "Sorry, sorry... I was sleeping really deeply."

"We know," Linnetpaw grumbled, kicking something in his direction. "We saved you some moss, since you slept through the whole trip. Lazy furball!" She turned her tail up and curled up tight. "I suggest you go on the evening patrol to make yourself useful, since you slept through all the dusk-work."

Emberpaw turned to Rainpaw and Tawnypaw, and while they did not appear quite as hostile, they did have disapproving looks on their faces.  _Gosh, I must have really been out..._

He quietly got up and walked out of the den, embarrassment clinging to his pawsteps. A small cluster of cats were just leaving the camp, and Emberpaw watched as Thymetail's white tail slipped through the gorse tunnel.  _No! They're leaving without me! Now I won't get a chance to help at all, and Brokentail will tell Heathernose how useless I was on my first day!_

Panicked, Emberpaw tried to think of a solution.  _I know! I'll hunt by Sunningrocks! Eelfoot showed me the basic hunter's crouch-and-pounce, I can catch something at least and feed the Clan!_

Quietly, Emberpaw stalked to the dirtplace tunnel, squeezing through the foul-smelling hole with disgust. He pulled himself out the other side and dashed off into the forest. Which way should he go?  _Well... The dirtplace is on the opposite side of camp from the gorse tunnel, and going east from the gorse tunnel took us to Twolegplace today... so if I go west, not only will I get to Sunningrocks, but I'll be closer than if I went out the front entrance!_  Pleased with his brilliance, Emberpaw took off towards Sunningrocks. After hearing a twig snap beneath his paws and a clamor of sleeping crows cawing overhead, Emberpaw realized that he should be more stealthy when moving at night, and lightened his steps.  _If Brokentail were here to see me, he would only be able to praise me to Heathernose!_

It took a while, but Emberpaw finally approached the thinning forest and the heavy scent of water and muddy earth that marked Sunningrocks. Emberpaw opened his mouth to catch the scents of prey. Mice, water voles, lizards, and...

Disturbed by the unfamiliar scent, Emberpaw crept closer on all fours, inching forward by pulling at the earth with his front paws and pushing himself slightly with his back. His rear twitched uncomfortably. He kept his mouth wide open, taking in the scent. Definitely cat, now that he was closer, but not the thick, sour smell of ThunderClan. No, this was a different taste, sweet and salty with the headiness of muddy earth. Rogues, perhaps, or maybe loners?

Peeking his head over a small boulder and swiveling his ears nervously, Emberpaw caught sight of two cats catching and playing with a water vole. Anger rose up in him, but he quelled his urge to fight them. They were adults and he was just made an apprentice today, there was no way he could fight them and hope to win.

The leaner of the two, a black tom, threw the water vole straight up in the air, while a bright ginger tom caught it in his jaws, crushing its neck and sending blood splattering on the smooth silver stones of Sunningrocks. "ThunderClan's got some good prey this season, eh, Applefur?" the black tom said in a raspy voice. If it weren't laden with such narcissism, Emberpaw might have thought it sounded a bit like Kestrelpelt's.

"Yeah, Nightfur," Applefur said, snatching up a lizard between his claws. "Stupid ThunderClan cats, thinking Sunningrocks belongs to them! Don't they know it used to be RiverClan land?"

 _That's not true!_  Emberpaw protested internally.  _Sunningrocks is on our side of the river, it rightfully belongs to us!_

"What do you think, should we piss on it now or kill some more of their prey?" Applefur was asking, but Nightfur stopped in his tracks and raised a paw to silence Applefur. His long, black whiskers twitched as he wiggled his nose, and Emberpaw ducked behind the boulder, creeping backwards into the forest.

"You smell that?" Nightfur growled, and from the sound of claws clicking against stone, Emberpaw could hear the fishy-smelling tom coming closer. "ThunderClan."

"What? The patrol already?"

"Shut up, idiot! Not the patrol. Just one cat. And... they're right... about... here!"

Instantly, Nightfur was on top of Emberpaw, and the young apprentice kicked and flailed his limbs to break free, but Nightfur put a paw to his throat and pressed his white claws against Emberpaw's skin, stopping Emberpaw where he laid.

"What are you doing out here, minnow?" Nightfur growled, and Emberpaw knew then that he was definitely from RiverClan - no other Clan would call a young cat a minnow.

"Hunting! I was hunting!" Emberpaw gasped, struggling to breathe.

"Well, don't hunt here anymore. This is RiverClan territory now, just as it should be."

Emberpaw growled. "Sunningrocks belongs to ThunderClan! It's on our side of the river!"

"The river changed, minnow. She used to flow on the other side of Sunningrocks, but StarClan changed her to spite her most loyal worshippers!" Applefur was now at Nightfur's side, driving his claws into Emberpaw's tail, eliciting a yelp of pain from him. "And we're taking Sunningrocks back."

"StarClan will punish you more if you kill me!" Emberpaw gasped, looking for a way out. "They-they'll dry up the river!"

"Fool! Stop floundering about, minnow. We're not going to kill you. We're just going to make a message out of you." Nightfur's green eyes lit up with malice. "Tell ThunderClan that if they want to keep Sunningrocks, meet Tigerstar at Sunningrocks at dawn tomorrow for one last battle. But perhaps you shouldn't come at all, since RiverClan will obviously win," he added with a scoff. Nightfur then climbed off of Emberpaw, and the little apprentice struggled to get up, but Nightfur grabbed him by the scruff and held him down. "Now, Applefur."

Applefur loomed over Emberpaw, staring into his eyes with a menacing grin. "RiverClan's swift waters go with you, minnow." With that, the ginger tom turned around and sprayed Emberpaw. Emberpaw yelped and shut his eyes to protect them from the tom's acidic scent, and Applefur let out a laugh.

Nightfur then let Emberpaw up and nipped him on the rear, sending him running back to ThunderClan. "Yeah, run home, little minnow! Run home to your precious Mama!"

Humiliated, afraid, and covered in RiverClan piss, Emberpaw raced through the forest as fast as he could, not caring how many crows he woke this time.

When he finally got to the gorse tunnel, the evening patrol had still not arrived. "Leopardstar? Leopardstar, where are you? Heathernose?" he called loudly.

Heathernose came out of the warriors' den, shaking loose moss from his fur. "What is it? What's wrong?" He approached Emberpaw and wrinkled his nose. "Good StarClan, you reek of RiverClan! What kind of trouble did you get yourself into now, owlet?"

"I was going to go hunting," Emberpaw explained, "but I smelled something funny at Sunningrocks. I went to investigate, and it was two RiverClan warriors hunting on our territory, two cats named Nightfur and Applefur. They told me that-that RiverClan intends to claim Sunningrocks, and they're going to attack at dawn for it."

"And the reason why you smell of RiverClan is...?"

Emberpaw hung his head in shame. "They caught me, and that's when they told me about RiverClan's plan. They had me down on the ground and I couldn't escape. And when they were done, Applefur... he, uh, he marked me."

Heathernose raised his brow. "You mean he pissed on you." It wasn't a question, and Emberpaw felt even more ashamed, as if he was reliving the whole thing over again.

"Yes, he did."

"You shouldn't have let them get that close. You shouldn't have been out on your own in the first place, you idiot. You'll get us killed the next time you go carousing about on your own." He growled. "I will wake Leopardstar and tell her everything. You go to bed." Emberpaw was about to head off to the apprentices' den when Heathernose added, " _After_  you rid yourself of RiverClan piss."

"Y-yes, Heathernose." Emberpaw flinched and went out the gorse tunnel, heading for one of the little streams Brokentail had showed him, and where his mother used to bathe him when he got especially dirty.

The moon shone directly on the water as Emberpaw rolled about in it, trying to wash the smell off. "I'll never eat another fish as long as I live," he whined, sinking his face into the water. It was much shallower than he remembered it being when he was small.

He looked at his reflection in the water, and his ears fell back against his head. "What kind of a useless cat am I?" he said despondently. He smashed his reflection away with his paw, sending little water droplets flying in every direction. "Pissed on by an enemy warrior on my first day. That must be a new record for ThunderClan. Great acorns." He growled and rolled on his side, looking up at Silverpelt. He wondered if Leopardwhisker could see him. Did he care at all? Emberpaw supposed not. They had never known each other.

But Eelfoot... oh, Eelfoot would be so worried. She would blame herself, she would say she didn't teach him enough fight moves in the nursery. No, he couldn't tell her, he wouldn't tell her. He would just sneak back into ThunderClan and sleep like nothing had happened. It wasn't like he would be invited to go to the battle anyway, he would be useless.

As Emberpaw heard the quiet noise of the evening patrol finally returning, he got to his feet and stared at his mottled black and ginger paws as he snuck back into camp through the dirtplace tunnel. Carefully, he walked in the apprentices' den and crawled back into his nest. Thankfully, everyone had fallen sound asleep. Emberpaw buried his face between his forepaws and curled his tail over his eyes. He supposed he would try to sleep at the very least. Maybe tomorrow would be better, if ThunderClan won the battle against RiverClan. If they lost... well, Leopardstar would think of something. She always thought of something.


	9. Void

The world was hollow. That was Emberpaw's first thought as he looked up at the gray sky, the sparse, black trees sticking up pathetically from the ashen landscape. There was nothing but silence, not even a breeze, and Emberpaw could smell nothing. This place was dead, hollow, empty.

 _I have to move forward_ , he thought, and began to walk through the land. Though his nose caught no scent, and his ears scooped up no sound, he kept his eyes peeled for danger, for he felt the strangest sensation lingering at the back of his neck.  _Am I being followed?_

Emberpaw walked for what seemed like hours and didn't get anywhere, didn't see, smell, or hear anything living. Just when he thought he was about to go mad, he looked behind him. As he turned, he jumped and flipped on his feet in the opposite direction, swiveling his ears back into his head and hissing loudly, bearing his fangs. A black tom with a white chest and paws was sitting behind him, with pale yellow eyes not unlike his own.

"Who are you?" Emberpaw snarled, crouching low to the ground.

"Call me King," the tom said. Though he made no sound or movement of danger, Emberpaw was afraid, terribly afraid. Queen's name had been familiar, but King was a word he had never heard before. What was this cat? Could he defeat this cat in a battle? Would he have to?

"You stink," King said, and Emberpaw inhaled sharply. "Not of RiverClan," the black tom corrected. "Of fear."

"I'm not so scared that I'll run away!" Emberpaw retorted.

King scoffed and twitched his tail emotionlessly. "Where would you run? Look around you. This is void. This is emptiness. There is no soul here but you."

Emberpaw was filled with dread, but his mouth moved quicker than his brain. "You aren't a soul?"

"I am a shell, like this place. I exist through you. This place exists through you. This is your nothingness, your void."

"I am whole," Emberpaw replied.

"You are and you are not. You are whole and you are empty. Choose, Emberpaw. For until you do, this is your land. These are your skies. They are nothing because you are nothing. You are nothing until you decide to be something."

"I  _am_  something, I am some _one_ ," the tortoiseshell replied, confused and irate. "I am Emberpaw of ThunderClan."

"And who is that?" King blinked his pale yellow eyes, and Emberpaw saw no light in them. He was neither dead nor alive, but he wasn't a spirit either.

Emberpaw had no answer.

King rose to his feet. "I will follow you everywhere you go until you can answer that question, Emberpaw. I walk in your shadow. I am scentless. I am soundless. But I am there. I will be there until you fill your void."

A deep growl rose in Emberpaw's throat. "Enough! Begone from me!"

"Never."

Emberpaw felt himself rolling in his nest, and as he opened his eyes, he saw the warm glow of dawn's light poking through the roof of the apprentices' den. Another dream.  _But it felt so real..._

He looked around the apprentices' den to find it completely empty. He was confused, but then he remembered - the battle against RiverClan! Emberpaw quickly got to his feet and ran outside, looking for anyone to talk to. A good amount of ThunderClan's many warriors were gone, including Leopardstar and Heathernose, but Emberpaw managed to spot Darkcloud relaxing in the morning sunlight. "Darkcloud!" he called, trotting across the camp with a nervous twitch in his tail.

Darkcloud yawned and looked up, blinking his bright yellow eyes. "Good morning, Emberpaw. Did you sleep well after last night's excursions?" Though Darkcloud meant no malice by his question, Emberpaw felt wounded.

"Heathernose told you?"

"He told everyone," Darkcloud explained, luxuriously stretching his shoulders and flexing his white claws. "Wanted everyone up for a Clan meeting at the crack of dawn. Made a special note not to wake you after you were out so late on your own, though, so Fireclaw got the other apprentices up in quiet. Be sure to thank him when he gets back."

Emberpaw swished his ears nervously, sitting on his haunches. "What exactly happened at the meeting?"

Darkcloud yawned. "Heathernose told everyone what happened to you, and he and Leopardstar prepared for a big fight against RiverClan. They took most of the warriors and apprentices, hoping to scare RiverClan with sheer size. But since they didn't come back as fast as I'd hoped, I'd assume they're fighting right now." He shot Emberpaw an apologetic look. "Sorry about what happened with Applefur and Nightfur, by the way. The two of them are probably the nastiest cats in the whole forest. Truth be told, Tigerstar doesn't even like them."

"You've spoken with Tigerstar?"

Darkcloud twitched his whiskers. "Owlet, I've spoken with just about every cat in the Clans. I make it a point to go to every Gathering just to see new faces."

Emberpaw was still nervous despite Darkcloud's lax disposition. "Do you think everyone will come back okay?"

"I'm sure they will," Darkcloud said with a relaxing mew, "but just in case, Goosepaw went with Linnetpaw and the other apprentices to treat serious wounds on the battlefield. Beechfur's out of his mind with worry, sure Goosepaw will get herself into some trouble, but I have faith in her."

Emberpaw looked around. "So who is left behind, besides you, Beechfur, and me?"

"Nightface is, since she's expecting kits and Beechfur said throwing herself into an unnecessary battle might cause her to miscarry. She's still early, but Beechfur is worried about how few kits we have in ThunderClan, so he's being very strict. The elders are obviously all still here, and Brightnose, Tawnyfur, and Jayfur are here. Oh, and Elmwhisker volunteered to stay behind to guard the nursery and elders' den."

Emberpaw nodded. Very few warriors were in camp compared to the usual number, but enough to make him feel comfortable in his own skin. "Darkcloud, can I ask you a silly question?"

"Ask away," the dark tabby replied, rolling on his back and exposing his soft belly to the sun.

Emberpaw took a deep breath. "Does Heathernose hate me?"

Darkcloud's face became incredulous. "Hate you? Of course not, don't be ridiculous. Heathernose couldn't hate anyone. Why would he hate you? Did you do something wrong?"

The mottled black and ginger tom shifted his paws nervously. "Eelfoot probably told you, but when I was younger I used to say things that would make other cats upset. Like, I would insist that I wasn't a boy, or tell the elders I was a molly. Brokentail was one of the cats I said it directly to, and he and Heathernose are always whispering to each other in secret, and I just..." He trailed off, looking down at his tail in shame.

Darkcloud's eyes softened and he placed a paw on Emberpaw's, blinking slowly at the young tom. "Just because you did some strange things as a kit doesn't mean the whole Ckan is going to be against you. I happen to like you quite a bit, and I had no part in your coming to be, so I'm not biased in any way." When Emberpaw didn't look convinced, he added, "Lots of mentors talk in private with more experienced warriors to make sure they're on track. Brokentail hasn't had an apprentice since before his name was changed, and I was still Darkpaw then. He's probably just checking in to make sure he's doing a good job."

Emberpaw wrapped his tail tight around his feet. "I'm not really sure that's what's going on..."

Darkcloud rolled onto his feet. "If it bothers you that much, just casually ask Brokentail. Brokentail is a very even-tempered cat, he never gets angry if you have no evil intent. I promise you, the worst that could happen is that he might be a little off-put." Darkcloud winked playfully. "If I'm wrong, I'll tell Leopardstar to replace you with me on every patrol for a quarter moon, deal?"

Emberpaw chuckled a bit; Darkcloud was definitely the Clan joker, and they might be lost without his humor. "All right, it's a deal."

"Good boy," Darkcloud said with a friendly cuff on the chest. "Now, go see if Elmwhisker needs your help, she's been pacing about and could use a break."

Emberpaw nodded. "Thank you, Darkcloud."

"Anytime, owlet. You need anything, just come look for ol' Darkcloud." He yawned comically. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with the sun and my nap."

Emberpaw purred amusedly. "Lazy furball," he said, but the grin on his face clearly showed the older cat he didn't mean it. Emberpaw walked calmly over to a brown tabby molly. She had the plainest fur in the forest, but any cat could tell her apart from others by her curly, unusual whiskers. "Hello, Elmwhisker," Emberpaw mewed respectfully.

Elmwhisker looked nervously at him with her dark green eyes. "Oh, hello, Emberpaw. Sorry about what happened last night, did you sleep well? Are you hungry? I can catch you something quick if you are, the fresh-kill pile is a little low."

Emberpaw nodded fiercely. "No, no, I'm fine, Elmwhisker, really, please don't fret about me."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm just so nervous about this battle. I'm glad I'm not there, I'm the bad luck charm for the Clan."

Emberpaw frowned. "I'm sure that's not true..."

"Look at these," Elmwhisker said, gesturing to large patches of fur missing on her chest and stomach, and one on her right shoulder. "I got wounded in battle in all of these places, and ThunderClan lost every fight I was in. The fur not growing back must be StarClan's way of punishing me for being so awful at fighting." She looked down at the ground. "That's why I volunteered to stay behind this time; this is a territory battle, and we can't afford to lose Sunningrocks, not with leaf-bare approaching."

Emberpaw felt something like a claw tearing at his heart. Poor Elmwhisker! "But you're the finest hunter in all the Clans!" Emberpaw insisted. "No one can catch a snake like you, and I'm sure you know how hard it is to catch snakes!"

"Oh, it-it's not so difficult, really," Elmwhisker said, licking and grooming herself nervously. "It's just a hunter's crouch with shadow-stepping - that's a ShadowClan technique I learned at a Gathering once - and making sure to stay hidden before you pounce. Anyone can learn it, I'm not so special."

"Elmwhisker, you bring more prey to ThunderClan than any cat, especially in leaf-bare. We would be lost without you."

Elmwhisker blinked confusedly. "You haven't been alive to see your first leaf-bare."

"Eelfoot has told me all about your exploits," Emberpaw explained. "She used to tell stories of the kinds of prey you could bring back; in fact, one time Linnetpaw, Rainpaw, Tawnypaw, and I played this game where all of us were prey and Linnetpaw was none other than the mighty Elmwhisker, and she could only win the game when she caught all of us. It was like hide-and-seek, but we played pretend with it too."

Elmwhisker looked like she had seen StarClan. "I-is that true? You really did that in  _my_  honor?"

"Well, I don't know- Yes, yes we did," Emberpaw said, feeling uncomfortable with the word 'honor,' since it was just a game. But seeing the look on Elmwhisker's face, he decided just to do what would make her happiest.

Her expression slowly grew from awe to joy, and she leaped up and gave a happy hoot. "Oh, Emberpaw, that's the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful thing any cat has ever done for me! Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!" She nuzzled his face almost aggressively, and Emberpaw just barely resisted the urge to flinch and back away. "I won't forget this until the day I die, you'll see!"

Emberpaw chuckled nervously, twitching his ears. "You're welcome, Elmwhisker. Um, I was just wondering, did you want a break from guarding the nursery and elders' den?" he asked, trying to change the subject as he backed away from the tabby's nearly vicious affection.

Elmwhisker looked at him adoringly. "Yes, I suppose I could use a break. I'll go have something to eat. Thank you, Emberpaw, do you want anything?"

"Oh, no, no, I'm fine, really," Emberpaw responded, shaking his head fervently. "But thanks for the offer, you enjoy yourself."

"I will!" Elmwhisker said, bounding away and lifting her tail high. "Thank you, Emberpaw!"

Emberpaw slunk back towards the elders' den, watching Elmwhisker until she had lost herself in the flesh of a fat pigeon. He sighed in relief to hear the rusty laugh of Tornface behind him.

"Got yourself an admirer, eh?" Tornface said, poking Emberpaw's hind leg with a claw.

"No way, she's a warrior and I'm a brand new apprentice!" Emberpaw insisted, but Tornface's blind, white eyes lit up mischeviously.

"Give it time, lad, give it time," he said, before curling up in his forepaws. "Now be quiet, I need my beauty rest."

"No amount of rest will bring your beauty back," Whitewhisker purred, and Tornface scowled.

"No one asked for your opinion, you old hag."

"Careful, Tornface, or Whitewhisker might tell StarClan to make you uglier!" Lightfur chirped.

Tornface imitated Lightfur with a series of annoying, nonsense sounds, and then said, "Leting you retire was the worst decision Leopardstar ever made, Stubbytail."

"Now stop that, Tornface," came Whitewhisker's raspy mew. "Lightfur can't help it if his rear is prettier than your face."

"You-!"


	10. Victory

The rest of the morning passed without event. Brightnose, Tawnyfur, and Jayfur joined Elmwhisker at the fresh-kill pile, and Emberpaw sighed in relief. At least she would have some other cats to talk to. Beechfur and Darkcloud began to converse after Beechfur finally stopped pacing around and checking his stores for about the thousandth time. Whitewhisker gave Emberpaw a gentle nudge to check on Nightface, but she didn't appear to need anything, which was good. Indeed, the camp was quieter and stiller than it had ever been, and Emberpaw could fool himself into believing that all was peaceful.

That was, until the sky turned from red to blue, and he could hear a yowling cry ring above the birdsong. Every cat looked up, eyeing the gorse tunnel like a hissing snake. Bursting through came none other than Cherrytail with blood dripping down her muzzle. "Victory!" she screeched. "Victory for ThunderClan!"

Linnetpaw rushed in behind her. "Sunningrocks is ours! We won!"

Leopardstar strode in deliberately. "Beechfur, come quickly," she said. "Cherrytail is wounded and needs your care."

Beechfur came trotting over instantly, worry in his greenish-yellow eyes. "How is Goosepaw?"

"She's fine, don't worry," Leopardstar insisted, and Emberpaw saw Beeshfur's shoulders drop in relief. "She was very brave today and showed courage as she tended to the wounded." Her green eyes glittered pridefully. "I think it's about time she earned her full name, don't you?"

Beechfur didn't reply, but the look on his face showed Emberpaw that he wasn't convinced. "I'll tend to Cherrytail," he said, and as he spoke, the brave molly lurched forward, and that was when Emberpaw saw the mass of bites and scratches in her back, dripping blood all over her body.

"That damn snake-spirit Badgerstep!" Cherrytail growled fiercely. "I clawed him up, I did!"

Tawnypaw was instantly at her mother's side, supporting her and keeping her from falling. "Cherrytail, be careful," she said in a hushed, soothing voice. "You'll make your wounds worse." She then said something Emberpaw couldn't hear, but the wrathful look on Cherrytail's face softened and she licked Tawnypaw weakly.

"Don't worry, Tawnypaw," she said. "Your mama will be here for a long time yet. When I go down, it will be in a blaze of glory, not in the medicine cat den or the elders' den, I promise you that."

"Keep that fighting spirit with you to actually get into the medicine cat den, Cherrytail," Beechfur said, gently teething Cherrytail's dark ginger, bloodstained scruff and lifting her to her paws. "Tawnypaw, sneak under Cherrytail's belly and support her while we walk to the den."

"I can walk, I'm not a kit, Beechfur," the ginger molly grunted, but as she tried to step forward, she moaned in pain and a stream of blood trickled down her side. She clenched her jaw tight, but said nothing as the two cats helped her into the den.

Emberpaw looked around, and thankfully, everyone else seemed to have more minor injuries. Fireclaw had a nasty cut on his nose and one of his whiskers had been torn out, but he was otherwise unscathed. Heathernose looked shaked but not stirred, and Brokentail carried himself with his usual dignity, casually licking the cut on his shoulder. Thymetail and Lightningclaw both bore tiny scratches and bite marks on their backs and shoulders, but nothing that bled much. Aspenfur's pelt was a horrid mess, and Patchstripe and Marigoldclaw looked winded, but for the most part, every cat seemed all right.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join here beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting," Leopardstar called, and Emberpaw heard Eelfoot call to him as she came through the tunnel. She looked surprisingly well, but Emberpaw didn't dare question it. Like a kit, he ran to his mother and purred against her, nuzzling her affectionately.

"I was worried about you," he mumbled as they made their way to the clearing beneath the Highrock.

Eelfoot purred, rubbing her chin on the top of his head. "No need to worry about me, I'm just fine. Now hush, Leopardstar is about to speak."

Emberpaw looked up at the large silver rock and saw Leopardstar looking over her Clan with a soft expression. "ThunderClan, many of you joined me as we fought against RiverClan this morning to keep Sunningrocks. Noble Cherrytail suffered the worst of the wounds dealt, but if it were not for her and for our brave apprentices, we may not have won today." Emberpaw's feet itched with curiosity, but he stayed silent. "Tawnypaw, I am especially impressed with your valor in particular. You fought bravely when Nightfur pounced on you, and kept him distracted long enough for Kestrelpelt to knock him off you and throw him at Tigerstar, effectively one of the bravest things I have see in my days."

Leopardstar let her green gaze sweep over her Clan, and as a small trickle of blood ran down her scars, she closed her eyes peacefully. "I am honored to be in your presence, all of you," she said. "It is the nobility, ferocity, and love of warriors and apprentices like you all that make ThunderClan truly great." She opened her eyes after a moment of reflective silence. "And speaking of noble apprentices, let us take a moment to thank foolish but kind Emberpaw, for if it were not for his excursions last night, we may not have known about Tigerstar's attack at all."

Emberpaw shied as all eyes turned on him, and he could feel Elmwhisker especially gazing at him with awe. StarClan above, what had gotten into her? It was downright creepy.

Leopardstar lashed her tail for attention. "But be warned: RiverClan will not take this battle kindly. If Tigerstar is foolish enough, she may declare war on us. Be prepared for such an event. I want double patrols for the next three days, or longer if there is more RiverClan scent by Sunningrocks or any other part of ThunderClan territory. We are victorious, but we must be vigilant." The longhaired tabby turned her head down towards Heathernose, who was seated dutifully at the base of the Highrock. "Heathernose, do you have anything to add?"

"Yes, Leopardstar, thank you," the light ginger tom said, stepping on one of the lower ledges of the Highrock to address the Clan. "All apprentices and warriors should remember that Emberpaw's actions, while lucky and favorable for us today, are not allowed. Especially in the wake of this battle, do not go off in the forest by yourself. This includes warriors. Take a partner with you or do not go at all."

Emberpaw shrank embarrassedly in place, pressing his ears flat against his head. Heathernose looked in his direction and, though his face never gave way to the stone-cold demeanor he held, the flick of his ear told Emberpaw that he was being watched. Closely.

"Dismissed," Heathernose said, still looking at Emberpaw until the cats began to disperse. He stalked up to Emberpaw and gave him a close look. "Do not ever repeat last night's actions again, whelp, or I will make you regret it."

"Y-y-yes, Heathernose," Emberpaw said nervously. He wanted to press his pelt against Eelfoot's, but she had already gone off to talk with Darkcloud.

Heathernose nodded. "Good. Brokentail is looking for you." He then walked away, barking at Beechfur to give him a report on the wounded. The fur on the back of Emberpaw's stood on end, and he felt uncomfortable. He crept away towards Brokentail and Jayfur, shaking his pelt nervously. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad.


	11. 10 - Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long pause between chapters! I went on a trip shortly after I finished chapter 9, and it threw me off my groove. But I'm happy to say I've found it again, and I hope you like this chapter! And don't worry, I promise things will be more exciting in the next one!

A half moon had passed since the battle between RiverClan and ThunderClan and things hadn't exactly gotten easier for Emberpaw. While Tawnypaw was forming a good, working relationship with Fireclaw, his relationship with Brokentail was getting uneasy and awkward. He just didn't seem to be all that good at anything, and Brokentail was clearly getting frustrated.

Leopardstar had been gently informing everyone that the Gathering was coming up soon, and Linnetpaw and Rainpaw were beside themselves trying to impress her. "I really want to go!" Linnetpaw kept saying. "I didn't get to go last time, but Rainpaw did, and I just have to go! She saw all the great warriors, didn't you, Rainpaw?"And then she would force quiet Rainpaw to talk about all the warriors from the other Clans she had met.

It was the dawn of the day the Gathering was to begin, and Emberpaw got up bright and early. Never mind that he hadn't slept much the night before, but he decided being up and about might impress Brokentail. He peered into the warriors' den and saw that Brokentail was still asleep. Emberpaw twitched his whiskers. "I'll do my duties around camp, then," he said quietly, and padded towards the nursery.

Nightface was casually grooming her black fur, still looking quite sleepy. "Nightface?" Emberpaw asked quietly, holding his tail up in greeting.

Nightface swiveled her head and twitched her tail pleasantly. "Oh, good morning, Emberpaw," she said. "You're up early."

He rolled his tail in the air. "I couldn't sleep, so I figured I would just get up and get moving."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe you can catch a quick nap at sunhigh?"

"Ha, maybe. Can I get you anything? Some fresh-kill, or water, or new moss?"

Nightface purred. "Thank you, but I'm all right for now. My kits aren't due for about another half-moon, or so says Beechfur."

"That's good, we can always use some friendly new faces!" Emberpaw replied with a grin. "I've never seen kits younger than me before."

Nightface nodded. "That's right, you were the baby of your clutch! Well, when mine come, you're welcome to come visit when they're ready. You've got a gentle air about you." The black queen's yellow eyes glowed warmly. "Eelfoot did a good job raising you, you'll be a fine warrior."

Emberpaw licked his chest nervously, trying to hide his shyness. "Oh, um, th-thank you, Nightface." He twitched his ears.

She purred amusedly. "You're welcome. You know, Beechfur thinks my litter is going to be a big one."

Emberpaw looked up. "How does he know that?"

"Goosepaw told him she thought so when she gave me a checkup yesterday. He says she's got a natural gift for that. Why, she even predicted that Eelfoot would have just one kit."

"That's really neat! How do you think she can tell? Aren't kits really small in the belly until the last half-moon or so?"

"They are, yes. Beechfur says that she has a keener paw for it than he does since she's also a molly. She can feel the tiny differences that he might miss." Nightface swished her tail. "Personally, I think she's just got a really gifted intuition, since I can't feel them in my belly at all, and they're my kits."

Emberpaw simply nodded, unable to offer much to the conversation. "I should chat up Goosepaw more often, she sounds really brilliant."

"She is, she's quite smart. If you want to know what I think, I think Beechfur's trying too hard to protect her, and doesn't let her spread her wings. But then again, she is his sister. Littermates are always protective."

What a terrible gossip! But Emberpaw chuckled, enjoying the conversation and how relaxed Nightface was. "Goosepaw is much older than me, right?"

"Oh, goodness, she's older than I am! StarClan only knows why Beechfur hasn't given the poor cat her full name yet, it's a damn shame. If something happens to Beechfur, no one will give Goosepaw her name, and he's getting to that age where, well, anything could happen." She stopped and looked at a spot on the wall. "Well, I suppose it's not really my business. StarClan will do what it wills." Nightface cast her gaze on Emberpaw. "Anyway, darling, you should be off. I've been flapping my maw while you have important duties to attend to."

Emberpaw nodded. "I'll be back around sunhigh to check on you, if that's all right."

Nightface purred. "You are a dear. Thank you, Emberpaw."

He dipped his head respectfully and headed towards the elders' den. Tornface and Lightfur were fast asleep, but Whitewhisker was still awake. "Good morning, Emberpaw," she rasped. "Gossiping with the queens, are we?" she added with a playful expression that made him smile.

"Good morning, Whitewhisker." he said. "I was just checking on Nightface. If anything, I just listened to the gossip. I haven't really been out of the nursery long enough to contribute."

The old white cat purred, blinking her glassy green eyes. "It's good of you to chat with Nightface, she's quite lonely, being the only queen and all." She gracefully folded her paws together. "So what can I do for you?"

"I was about to come ask you that," the apprentice replied, gently shaking his ginger and black fur. "Do you need anything?"

"New bones," Whitewhisker said, stretching and cracking her back legs with a grunt.

"Aha, I can't really help with that."

"What good are you, then?" She gave him a light tap on the foot with her paw, and he chuckled. "A piece of fresh-kill would be lovely. A mouse, if we've got any. I'm only a little peckish."

He nodded, then looked towards the back of the den. "How are Lightfur and Tornface treating you? I hope they're not being cruel to you, Whitewhisker. I'll clobber them if they are."

"Oh, Tornface is a bother, but he's a kind-hearted fellow. Lightfur's also a good cat. Such a shame that he's got that illness, though. Poor thing had to be in the elders' den before he even had his ceremony."

Emberpaw nodded. Lightfur had a sickness that made him catch other illnesses, and so he couldn't go out and perform his warrior duties for a long time. He didn't appear to harm other cats, so he was placed in the elders' den for a while, at Whitewhisker's recommendation. And, since she was the former medicine cat of ThunderClan, Beechfur couldn't really argue with her like he would with Goosepaw. Age and treachery would always overcome youth and enthusiasm, or so Whitewhisker had said.

"So, how have things been with you?" the old molly said, laying on her side.

Emberpaw twitched his tail. "Well, they've been all right. Sometimes I feel like I don't know what I'm doing, though."

"You're an apprentice," Whitewhisker replied gently. "You're not supposed to know just yet. That's what being an apprentice is about. Do you think I knew everything about being a medicine cat when I became Bluetail's apprentice?"

Emberpaw shook his head.

"Exactly. There were plenty of times I thought to myself, 'Oh, Whitepaw, what have you done to yourself?' It would have been easy to back out and quit, we had another apprentice at the time, but he quit. So StarClan was trying to tell me that this truly was my path, that I am sure of." She blinked slowly. "You'll find your way. You've always been bright."

Emberpaw's ears fell back. "I don't know why everyone says that, really. I haven't got a lick of common sense."

"Who told you that?"

He shuffled his paws, taking a quick glance at the warriors' den. The green shrub was still, not even the dawn patrol was rising just yet. "Brokentail," he admitted after a pause. "I don't think he likes me."

"Why? What's happened?" Whitewhisker asked, concern etched in her features.

"Well... All right, so I was trying to catch mice for the past few days, and I just couldn't get the crouch right. And that's a basic skill, you know? Tawnypaw got it in two days. So I tried for what must have been the number of leaves on two trees' times, and Brokentail saw my crouch and said to me, 'I told you to crouch like a hunter, not like a molly in heat, you useless furball!'" Emberpaw flinched as he said the words, curling up on himself and digging his claws in the ground. "I... I asked him what was wrong with being a molly, and he said, 'I don't know, maybe you can tell me when you figure out what's wrong with you.' And then he told me to fetch moss."

Whitewhisker had a sour expression on her face as he finished. "That idiot. I should claw him for speaking like that." She sighed and touched her nose to his chest, groaning as she rose slightly to touch him. "Try not to let him get to you, Emberpaw. He's been out of the mentoring business for a while, and he's afraid that he's lost his touch." She shook her fur. "That doesn't excuse bad behavior, but try to be understanding that it might not be all about you, all right? You'll make it though."

Emberpaw's ears swiveled behind him as he heard the dawn patrol rise and get ready to leave. "Thank you, Whitewhisker, really." He swished his tail. "I'll go fetch you that mouse now."

She blinked her eyes warmly. "Thank you. Take care today."

"You too," he said. As he walked away, he began to question why he had even bothered talking to Whitewhisker about the whole thing. She was an elder, she couldn't do anything about it. Besides, he was an apprentice, he was supposed to learn how to be a good warrior. It was all his fault if he couldn't learn, right?

As Emberpaw looked at the last mouse on the pile, a scrawny, brown creature with lifeless eyes and a tiny jaw that dangled open gracelessly, he wondered how it could be so hard to catch them. They were just so small.

"I'll catch you next time," he whispered to himself, taking the fresh-kill to the elders' den. He could see Tornface yawning loudly and with great gusto behind Whitewhisker, and he could have sworn he heard her say, "You idiot, your mother should have eaten you while she had the chance!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is confused by that last line: In high-stress environments, feline mothers will eat their own kittens. It happens in Clan life, and usually happens under extreme circumstances, so the mother is never shamed for it. The elders tend to tell nasty jokes since they're usually pretty close to dying anyway. Depressing fellows, really.


	12. 11 - Feverish

The dawn patrol stirred in their nests, and Emberpaw watched them go. First came Lightningclaw, then Thymetail close behind her, then Marigoldclaw, and finally Brokentail.  _Leopardstar must be really worried about RiverClan still_ , he thought, for the patrol consisted of two of the finest fighters in ThunderClan. Brokentail appeared to be the patrol's leader, with Marigoldclaw as his support. "We'll check Sunningrocks twice on this patrol," he was saying to the patrol. "RiverClan's been silent and I don't like it. We need to be more vigilant."

"I can scout ahead if you'd like," Thymetail offered, but Brokentail shook his head.

"No, we need the three of you. If we get attacked, you need to be the one to run back to camp. Our runners are tired from patrolling all day yesterday, and you're the swiftest of the four of us, and the least likely to trip. You'll be our messenger if you smell trouble, got it?"

Thymetail nodded, and Emberpaw thought he saw Lightningclaw twine her tail with his.

"Are we ready to go?" Marigoldclaw pestered the silver tabby. "We're wasting daylight."

Brokentail nodded. "Let's move." As the patrol turned to leave, he finally took notice of Emberpaw. "Oh, there you are, Emberpaw. Good to see you up early."

Emberpaw nodded. "Can I help with anything?"

"Have you checked on Nightface and the elders?"

"Yes, I did. Whitewhisker needed a mouse, but everyone else was fine."

"Good boy." He nodded appreciatively, and a glow of pride filled Emberpaw's tiny chest. "Go see if Beechfur and Goosepaw need any herbs. Take Goosepaw with you if they do, we're still doing things in pairs until this trouble with RiverClan is officially over."

Emberpaw's tail swished proudly, and he twitched his ears. "Yes, I understand. I'll go right now."

"Good job. When I come back, we'll practice the hunter's crouch again today. Have you been working on it outside of our lessons?"

Emberpaw nodded enthusiastically. "I'm trying my best to get it, I really am."

"I know you are." He swished his crooked tail nervously, letting it hit his hind legs. "I apologize for how rude I've been to you about it. I hope we can work past that."

Emberpaw's yellow eyes glowed and widened with joy. "Yes, we can!" He coughed and smoothed his chest fur. "I-I mean, yes, we can."

Brokentail twitched his whiskers. "Good. I've got to get going. I'll see you later."

"Yep! I'm looking forward to it!" Emberpaw watched Brokentail slipped through the gorse tunnel and pratically danced on the tips of his toes. Maybe Brokentail didn't hate him, after all! He cast a look over to the elders' den and caught Whitewhisker giving him a knowing smirk. He dipped his head happily at her, then turned to the medicine cat den. It was a lovely shrub with blue berries growing off it, and had been supported by thorns and bracken so there were walls to keep out the chill - and, more importantly, to keep enemies from raiding the den of its precious herbs.

Emberpaw slipped through the entrance, bowing his head. "Beechfur? Goosepaw? It's me, Emberpaw."

Beechfur was sleeping in the middle of the den, a few large, oily-looking leaves on top of his head. He jerked up at the sound of Emberpaw's voice and blearily looked to the entrance of the den. "Hm? Oh, oh, Emberpaw, hello." He shook the leaves off his head and stretched his whole spine, clawing at the earth as he heaved his hindquarters into the air. "What can I do for you?"

"Brokentail sent me. I was wondering if you needed any more herbs in your store? I can help you collect them, if you like."

"Just a minute, let me check." He picked up the leaves and put them in a small crevice in the thorny walls. He beckoned with his tail as he looked at a wide array of berries, blossoms, and herbs. "Come in, make yourself at home."

Emberpaw took a tentative step inside, looking around. He hadn't been inside this den since Duckkit went to StarClan, and it still gave him the chills. As he looked to his right, Goosepaw was snoozing peacefully in a grassy nest in the corner of the den.

"Hmm, hmm, hmmm," Beechfur was musing as he pawed through their stores. "Well, we could always use some more cobwebs, and a little tansy wouldn't hurt. A pinch or two of wild garlic might be good to have around, too. Oh, and feverfew, but hm, it's still blooming, so that might be unwise to pick now..."

"If we don't have at least some feverfew now, we won't be prepared for an outbreak," Goosepaw yawned, shaking her long fur out as she sat up and started to groom herself. "We don't have to pick all the feverfew in the forest, you know. Just enough to have for an emergency."

Beechfur shot her a downright nasty look, and Emberpaw raised a paw nervously. "Well, if you're so in tune with the forest, why don't you tell me exactly when it will bloom so we don't kill any of our future blossoms?"

"We're killing them whether or not we pick them at all, mousebrain."

"Mousebrain, I've told you this hundreds of times - the blossoms need to bloom properly so their seeds spread and there can be more next year. If we pick them now, while they're still blooming, they won't spread their seeds!"

"And we don't have  _any_  feverfew in our store right now!" Goosepaw protested, getting her back up. "It's better to have a few buds in our den than to have  _none_!"

Beechfur snarled, and Emberpaw crouched to the ground as the two siblings got nose to nose. "You idiot, you never think ahead! You've got to think about what happens in future seasons!"

"And you never think in the present!" Goosepaw growled, lashing her tail furiously. "You're so far in the future that you forget that there could be an emergency  _now_! I'm not saying we shouldn't think about our future plant stores, but I  _am_  saying that we need to be prepared for what can happen at any second!"

Beechfur growled, narrowing his green eyes, so like Goosepaw's. His white tailtip twitched irately. "If you want to handle your medicine cat den like that, be my guest, but it won't happen 'til after I'm  _long_  dead!"

"You mean like how I  _still_  haven't gotten my medicine cat name?!" Goosepaw caterwauled. "There have been warriors made and killed before I've been named, Beechfur! I'm older than some of the warriors we have now, and you still won't even consider naming me! I've  _earned_  it by now, I deserve to have my full name!"

"You'll get your name when I think you've earned it, not when you do! You're not ready!"

"Why? Because I'm your baby sister and you have to 'protect' me? Sky flash, Beechfur: I am a  _grown adult_! I can take care of myself! I'm just as capable as you are! Even Leopardstar says that I deserve my warrior name! I can't believe you're still being like this!"

"Maybe if you weren't such an idiot that needed such constant coddling, this wouldn't be happening in the first place!"

" _Coddling?!_ " Goosepaw hissed, lashing out with a paw at Beechfur, striking him just across the nose. Emberpaw scooted out of the den in reverse, looking just as shocked and horrified as Beechfur did as he collected the crimson drops of blood on his paw pad. "That's it. I'm done. I'm going to take Emberpaw with me to get feverfew and den grass. You take care of  _your_  medicine cat den without me."

The gray-brown tabby stamped out the den, practically knocking Emberpaw off his feet as she left. "Come on, let's go," she mewed gruffly, slipping through the gorse tunnel before the tortoiseshell apprentice had any time to think. He blinked slowly, staring in shock at her. Did Goosepaw really just strike her mentor, her brother, hard enough to draw blood? It seemed impossible, but there it was. He had witnessed the whole thing.

He cast a nervous glance at Beechfur, staring glassy-eyed at the empty space that Goosepaw had occupied. He whispered something too quiet for Emberpaw to hear, especially with the blood pounding in his ears, and turned to his stores, tending to his minor wound in silence.

"Emberpaw, come on," he heard the medicine cat apprentice call from outside camp, and he bolted out through the gorse tunnel. What a day this was turning out to be, and it had barely even started!

 


	13. 12 - Goosepaw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's extra long in comparison to the others, about 2.5k words! Enjoy!

Emberpaw shimmied out of the gorse tunnel, his eyes locking on Goosepaw in the morning light. The red sunrise tinted her pelt with its color, and she stared boldly into its light, twitching her long, soft fur. "Goosepaw?" he mewed shyly, staying low to the ground.

She looked back as though she hadn't heard him coming. When her pale green eyes locked on him, she sighed and lowered her head, twitching her tail in frustration. "Sorry you had to see that. Come on, there's lots of herbs near Twolegplace."

"Okay." He crept close behind her, but far enough away to give her her space. He listened for enemy warriors while Goosepaw stalked forward, still seething.

"Who does he even think he is?" she asked randomly, as Emberpaw fumbled over the roots of an exceptionally large tree.

"Who?"

"Beechfur. Who does he think he is, my father? He's just my older brother. It shouldn't matter to him whether or not I'm being coddled. Brothers don't coddle." She scoffed. "I'm older than some of the warriors now. I should, by all rights, have my full medicine cat name by now."

"What do you think it would be?" Emberpaw asked curiously, trying to divert her anger.

"What it would be?" she asked. "Hm... I don't really know. Maybe Gooseleaf, or Goosetail. I'm pretty quick, you know."

"Maybe Goosefoot?" Emberpaw suggested. "My mother, Eelfoot, is very fast, so maybe you'll be named like her."

"I don't really know. It's a little different for medicine cats. StarClan is supposed to tell the medicine cat what our name will be when the apprentice is ready, and then the ceremony is to be held."

That confused Emberpaw. "Surely, StarClan had to have told Beechfur what your name was by now?"

"That's just it," Goosepaw sighed. "He won't speak a word of StarClan around me because of that. I'm... No, never mind, I shouldn't say such things."

"What things?" Emberpaw pressed. They approached the place where the feverfew grew, and began to pluck some blossoms from their roots.

Goosepaw sighed, putting one bud down next to her. "I'm just starting to wonder if StarClan are even really real, is all." She twitched her ears nervously and looked at Emberpaw with a desperate look. "Don't tell anyone I said that, all right? I could get in really big trouble."

"I won't," the little apprentice said. "I promise. You've got a lot of anger over not having your name and it wouldn't be fair to get you in more trouble over it." He stepped closer to the medicine cat apprentice and touched the top of her head with his nose in a friendly way. "You can count on me!"

Goosepaw grinned. "Thanks, Emberpaw, you're very sweet." She purred and nuzzled his cheek. "Now, I think that's enough feverfew blossoms - any more and Beechfur will have an even bigger fit. Let's go get some den grass."

"What's den grass?" Emberpaw asked, picking up a cluster of stems in his jaws, letting the tiny yellow blossoms dangle loosely.

"It's very long grass that we use to make nests in the medicine cat den. We use it because it's cleaner and easier to get rid of than moss, and it's less likely to spread infection because it won't absorb blood or puss or other bodily yucks." She puffed out her chest in pride. "It was actually my idea to switch from moss to tall grass, you know."

"That's really cool!" Emberpaw said. "I was talking to Nightface earlier, and she was telling me how smart you are, and I can definitely believe that."

"Did she really say that about me?" Goosepaw asked with a smile. "That's so kind of her, I can't believe that! I'll have to thank her for that, my goodness. Did she tell you about my gift?"

"For guessing the number of kittens a queen will have?" Goosepaw nodded, and Emberpaw added, "Yes, she did. You think Nightface's litter is going to be really big?"

"Yes, definitely! I'm absolutely sure of it to the very tips of my whiskers! I'm just as sure as when I said Eelfoot would have only one kit!"

"How do you do that?" Emberpaw asked as the two of them approached the leaves of den grass.

"I can feel them," Goosepaw said. "Not with my paws, but with my spirit. It's like they can talk to me and tell me who's there. It's... strange. I know."

_Intuition,_  Emberpaw thought.  _So Nightface was right after all._

They plucked some stalks of grass in silence, listening to the wind and their teeth rustle the stalks while some shrill bird called out to its brothers and sisters in the distance. When they had gathered enough, they organized their grass into two neat piles for them to carry with their feverfew.

"I'm going to get in a lot of trouble for striking Beechfur, aren't I?" Goosepaw finally said.

Emberpaw's mouth was stuffed with herbs, but he twitched his tail sympathetically.

"I was so stupid to do that," she sighed. "I might never get my name now. Ugh. I'm always messing things up for myself, aren't I?" She blinked slowly. "Maybe that's why StarClan killed my mother when I was born. Maybe I'm cursed. Maybe I deserve to be punished simply for existing." When she noticed the horrified look on Emberpaw's face, she sighed. "That's right, you're much too young to know. My mother was called Mousestep. She was my mother and Beechfur's mother before me. She was a small and skittish cat, but clever. I'm told I look like her, since she had long fur like me." Goosepaw's ears twitched as the breeze hissed by. "She had problems giving birth to me. All my littermates were stillborn. She died. There was no father to name me, so Beechfur took it on himself to name me Goosekit. He cared for me like a father, despite being my brother from the litter before me. Jayfur is our brother, too, but he was never as interested in me as Beechfur. I guess that's why Beechfur is the medicine cat and not Jayfur."

Emberpaw dropped his herbs as Goosepaw sat down with a downcast expression, spitting out her grass and feverfew like bile. "So you had no father and no mother?" he asked tentatively.

Goosepaw shook her head. "Beechfur would always tell me what she was like, though, so I sometimes feel like I know her. I became a medicine cat because I wanted to see her, to talk to her, to know her while I was still alive." She frowned. "I guess when I put it like that, I have really selfish reasons for doing what I do. I don't deserve to be as good at it as I am."

"Don't blame yourself, Goosepaw," Emberpaw said. "For any of it. Bad things happen, that doesn't mean you cause them. You're a great medicine cat, and one day Beechfur will learn to let go of you." He gave her a warm headbutt on her fluffy chest. "And until then, we can be friends, and you can talk to me, if you need."

Goosepaw purred and nuzzled between his ears. "You are very kind, Emberpaw. Thank you. You're very compassionate for your age." She rose to her feet and collected her herbs, prompting the tortoiseshell apprentice to do the same. "Promise not to tell anyone anything I told you, okay? That's all really private stuff."

Emberpaw couldn't reply with words, but he made an affirmative noise and swished his tail in a circle eagerly.

Goosepaw chuckled. "You're silly. Thank you. Let's get back to camp."

* * *

When the two apprentices reached camp, the cream-colored body of Heathernose was the first thing they saw. His amber eyes glinted with annoyance, and he looked directly at Goosepaw. "Leopardstar has asked for a meeting with you. Immediately." His eyes flicked to Emberpaw. "You too. You were a witness."

Emberpaw gulped. That world of trouble Goosepaw was talking about came a lot sooner than he'd anticipated.

Goosepaw kept her cool. "That's fine. We just need to put these herbs in the den first."

"Give them to me. I will take care of it. Go to her den. Now."

Goosepaw widened her eyes slightly, but obediently put them on the ground in front of the ThunderClan deputy. Emberpaw nervously did the same and skirted around him. Heathernose took the wad of herbs in his powerful jaws and slunk off to the medicine cat den.

The lichen-covered entrance to the den below the Highrock had always made Emberpaw nervous, but now he was downright jumpy. Goosepaw tapped the moss with her paw for him. "Leopardstar, it's Goosepaw and Emberpaw."

"Come in," was her terse reply, and shivers went up Emberpaw's spine. Leopardstar had always been so warm, this seriousness in her voice made him worry that he would get in trouble. Should he have said or done something to stop it? Was he going to be punished, too?

They walked through the opening and there sat Leopardstar with Beechfur, who had some kind of white blob on his nose. Emberpaw guessed it was cobwebs and some kind of healing poultice, but he really couldn't be sure.

"Sit," the golden tabby said, and Emberpaw plopped his hindquarters on the ground, wrapping his tail around his paws nervously. Goosepaw sat next to him, somehow maintaining a cool demeanor, seemingly unfazed by this.

"Beechfur tells me that there was an altercation between him and you, Goosepw," Leopardstar said, blinking slowly. "Is that true?"

"It is."

"He also tells me it involved claws. Is that true?"

"Yes, it is."

She twitched her tail. "That is most unbecoming of a medicine cat, Goosepaw. You are old enough to know better than to use your claws when you fight."

"I know. I got overly emotional. I am sorry. It won't happen again."

"You don't get out of this easily by just saying that you're sorry now that you're in trouble." Leopardstar sighed and took a breath. "Now, I've given Beechfur time to tell his side of the story, and though I know Beechfur would never lie, it is only fair that you tell me your side."

Goosepaw flicked an ear. "I don't even remember how the argument actually started, to be honest."

Emberpaw piped up quietly. "I-I was sent by Brokentail to look for herbs and-"

Leopardstar gave him a cold gaze. "Emberpaw, hush. You will get your time to speak after Goosepaw."

"S-sorry, sorry, won't happen again." He flinched and tucked his body in tight, feeling horribly exposed.

"Continue, Goosepaw."

"Emberpaw is right, he was sent by his mentor to come gather herbs. Beechfur was talking about how we need feverfew, and I suggested taking some buds so we had an emergency supply. He told me that was a stupid idea-"

"I never said it was stupid!" Beechfur protested.

"Beechfur, be quiet!" Leopardstar hissed.

"You might as well have!" Goosepaw snarled.

"Goosepaw, don't feed into i-"

"Well, don't start telling cats that I said something I didn't!" growled Beechfur, lashing his tail.

" _Enough!_ " yowled Leopardstar loudly enough for there to be a ringing in Emberpaw's ears. Both medicine cats stopped in their tracks and stared at her.

"You are both adults," she growled. "Now, we can handle this like adults, or I'll punish you both like petulant kits who can't figure out how to share a moss ball. Do you understand? I do not have patience for my only medicine cats giving me more nonsense than an unruly apprentice."

The siblings looked at each other, then back at their leader. "Yes, Leopardstar," they said in unison.

"Good. Goosepaw, proceed, and both of you-" She turned to look at Beechfur and Emberpaw individually "-no interrupting, or I'll send you outside."

Goosepaw took a deep breath. "Beechfur and I started arguing about the herbs, then it devolved into an argument about my name, and before I knew it, I just got so angry that I snapped." She looked down at her paws. "I know it was wrong, and I shouldn't have done it, and I am really, really sorry. I promise, it will never happen again."

Leopardstar nodded. "Emberpaw, do you have anything to add? I understand you were watching the whole ordeal."

Emberpaw shivered. "W-well, um... They- they did start arguing about whether or not Goosepaw even deserved her warrior name, even though Goosepaw is older than some of our warriors, and Beechfur said that she, um..." He nervously glanced at Beechfur, who simply blinked at him. "That she was an idiot who needed coddling. And that's when Goosepaw hit him." He twitched his whiskers over and over nervously. "Am- am I going to be punished for not doing anything?"

Leopardstar gave a tired half-chuckle. "No, you did the right thing by not getting involved." She turned her attention back to Beechfur and Goosepaw, both looking like sorry lumps of fur. "Both of you acted and spoke immaturely and cruelly to each other. Beechfur, I cannot punish you as you are our only full medicine cat, but I implore you to consider giving Goosepaw her name soon. You, I, she, and everyone in this Clan knows that she has earned it and deserves it. You and I are both getting old, and she needs to be looked at like the competent medicine cat that she is in order to settle into her position." She then looked at Goosepaw. "And just because you have not earned your medicine cat name yet does not mean you get to act like a new apprentice. You are right that you are older than some of our warriors, and you must act accordingly. I understand that Beechfur said things that were cruel to you, but you must never raise your claw to a Clanmate. As punishment, you will not attend tonight's Gathering. Is that a fair punishment to you?"

Goosepaw nodded and looked down. "Yes, it is. I understand."

"Good. Both of you are dismissed."

Emberpaw got up to leave, but Leopardstar stopped him. "Emberpaw, Brokentail has told me of your effort in your lessons. I am impressed."

"Impressed? By me?" Emberpaw asked, incredulous. "B-but I haven't even gotten the basic crouch right yet..."

"Yet is the key word in that statement. You are choosing not to give up, and that is admirable. You are willing to work hard to get the things you want. Also, you handled the situation with Beechfur and Goosepaw very maturely. You were honest in talking about their bad behavior to me and in front of them, and that is very brave. As a reward, you will attend tonight's Gathering."

His yellow eyes widened with surprise. "Th-thank you, Leopardstar!" he squeaked. "Oh, but..." He twitched his ears. "I'm sad Goosepaw can't go, too."

"Goosepaw is a grown cat who can make her own decisions, and she can deal with the consequences of those decisions. Don't fret over it." She flicked her tail calmly. "Now, you should go meet with Brokentail to work on that crouch."


	14. 13 - First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for gore and blood towards the end of this one, though it's pretty minor.

As Emberpaw left the tiny den that Leopardstar slept in, he was greeted not by Brokentail, but by a familiar patchy, brown tabby. "Hello, Emberpaw!" she squeaked, chipper, her curly whiskers twitching in delight. "How are you this morning?"

Emberpaw wiggled nervously, holding his tail half-high. "I'm fine, thank you, Elmwhisker. I'm actually going to train with Brokentail now."

"Oh, I'll come with you!" Elmwhisker purred, leaping to her feet from her sitting position. Her tail was high and the tip twitched eagerly. Her enthusiasm could kill a cat, Emberpaw thought. "Are you doing anything exciting?"

"Just the hunter's crouch," Emberpaw mumbled, not keeping eye contact with her. Instead, his eyes glazed over as he searched for the silver body of his mentor.

"Oh, what fun!" Elmwhisker chirped. "I remember when I learned the hunter's crouch, I did it before any other apprentice could, and I was so good that I taught the rest of them what was what!"

Emberpaw twitched his ears nervously. He sniffed furiously for Brokentail and finally caught whiff of him laying by the warriors' den, chatting up his sister, Aspenfur.

"...so then I said to him, 'Brightnose, you do everything tail-up and face-down!' And he said, 'No, please, don't remind me of the vole incident!'" Brokentail said, and Aspenfur broke out into hysterical laughter.

"Oh, Patchstripe must have given him a good cuff for that one!" Aspenfur chortled.

"Aye, it's no wonder they haven't had any kits in moons!" snorted Brokentail, who then noticed Emberpaw. "Oh, there you are, Emberpaw! And hello to you too, Elmwhisker." Brokentail rose to his paws, shaking a bit of dead grass off his belly. "Ready to get started?"

"Yes!" Emberpaw was saying, but Elmwhisker spoke over him, "Can I join you? I think I could give Emberpaw some good tips!"

Brokentail's eyes lit up with delight, much to Emberpaw's dismay. "That's a wonderful idea! You can come with us. Emberpaw could use the help, and who better to ask than ThunderClan's finest hunter?"

Elmwhisker sighed, waving her paw demurely. "Oh, nonsense, I just do what I do best and help where I can."

"Ha, so modest." Brokentail purred. "All right, then, let's go by the Owl Tree."

StarClan, why have you forsaken me? thought Emberpaw.

The trio trekked out towards the Owl Tree, convening between its gnarled, curly roots. "All right, Emberpaw, show us both what you've got so far," said Brokentail as Elmwhisker stood by his side.

Emberpaw nodded and promptly sunk low to the ground. He raised his haunches and kept his front paws tucked under his chest, then pulled his tail down towards his back paws and flattened his ears towards the sides. "Like this?" he asked.

"Close, but not quite." Brokentail gestured to the brown tabby. "Elmwhisker, your thoughts?"

"Your back legs are splayed out too far," she guided gently. "You look a little bit like a duckling," she added with an awkward chuckle. "Try tucking them in to be more in line with your front paws, but not too much."

"Like this?" Emberpaw asked, scooting awkwardly until he finally pulled his back feet under the gentle curve of his belly.

"Yes, like that! You're a little too taut, but it's better to be too much than too little, from my experience. You'll loosen up with time." Elmwhisker nodded. "Now, stand up and drop to the crouch again."

Emberpaw got to his paws and repeated the motion - drop, tuck, tail, ears.

"No, no, see, you drop your tail much too late," Elmwhisker said, walking over to him. "Try it again, but think about tucking your tail down before you even sink your chest down. Make it soft and fluid. Pretend you're a river crashing over a rock - waves are singular but curved."

Emberpaw grinned. "You sound like a RiverClan cat."

"You would know, wouldn't you?" she retorted with a sniff, but there was a playful glint in her green eyes. "Now, again."

"Yes, Elmwhisker." Emberpaw stood up, shook his fur briefly, then slipped back into the crouch, imagining himself as a powerful wave. His tail came slapping down into the water, then his chest, then his paws came under him to seal the gap between the rock and the current, and his ears were the final  _woosh_  of noise as it flowed back into silence.

"Good, good, much better!" Brokentail said with glee. "That's great, Emberpaw, good work!"

Elmwhisker nodded. "You should work on making your tail motion softer, more controlled and yet less, but you're off to a great start!"

Emberpaw rose to his feet. "Thank you, Elmwhisker." He was genuinely impressed with himself, and with her guidance. Without it, he might have dawdled for another quarter moon on just getting the crouch right. In only a few moments with it, he'd been able to understand something that it had taken him a half moon to get. He almost wondered if he should have been given to Elmwhisker rather than Brokentail as an apprentice.

Elmwhisker purred, twitching her curly, soft, light gray whiskers in delight. "Oh, it was nothing, really," she said coyly, covering her face with a paw.

"Think he's ready to catch a mouse?" Brokentail asked.

Elmwhisker turned to him, looking almost like she had forgotten he was there. "Oh- oh, yes! Certainly!"

"Excellent. That will please Leopardstar greatly." Brokentail nodded at him. "Come on. We should go to the Great Sycamore, since our racket likely scared off all the prey here."

"Actually, I think the border by Twolegplace might be the best idea," Elmwhisker suggested. "There's a slight chance that some prey set off an alarm call that reached the Sycamore, but there's no way they got to Twolegplace."

Brokentail looked put off for a minute, but then nodded, conceding. "Fair enough. You are the best hunter."

Elmwhisker purred cheerfully, shutting her eyes in delight. "Oh, Brokentail, you flatter me!"

The silver tabby snorted. "Silly creature, every cat knows you're the best, there's no reason to be modest." He swished his crooked, bent tail to summon Emberpaw. "Come on now, let's get moving if we want to catch something while it's still daylight."

"Mm, good idea," Elmwhisker said. "Leaf-fall will be on us soon, so the days will start to get shorter."

"Why?" asked Emberpaw, falling in step beside his mentor.

"Legend has it," Brokentail said as they walked through the forest, "that in the very beginning, all days were the same. The sun was out for half the time, and the moon was out for the other. But LionClan and TigerClan were displeased with this. LionClan protested that there was not enough time in the day for the sun to warm their glorious, golden manes and pelts, while TigerClan claimed that there was too little darkness for them to hunt in peace. Ancient StarClan convened every night, trying to decide who to please, but when war broke out between LionClan and TigerClan, they had to come to a decision immediately. So, StarClan decided that for half the year, the days would be long, so that LionClan could use it how they liked. Meanwhile, for the other half, the nights would be longer so TigerClan could hunt in the shadows."

Emberpaw nodded solemnly. "Tornface and Whitewhisker never told us that story."

"There are many, many stories," Brokentail said simply. "It's impossible to learn them all as a kit. The elders tell the little ones the most exciting ones to keep them from napping through the tale."

Emberpaw thought back to when he first met Tornface, and how Linnetpaw and Rainpaw had fallen asleep, curled up with each other, while Whitewhisker recited an old tale in hushed tones for them. It must have been pretty boring if they fell asleep!

"Why do we tell stories?" he asked.

"To keep our memories alive," Elmwhisker said. "And if we do that, we get to keep the cats in them alive."

"I don't understand."

"When a cat dies, their spirit goes to StarClan," Brokentail explained while Elmwhisker guided them through and over fallen trees. "That much you know. But what you weren't told is that, when we die, we must live on in the hearts and memories of other, living cats, in order for our spirits to remain. When the last cat alive forgets us, our spirit fades forever. So, we tell stories of our loved ones and of cats of legend to keep their spirits alive in StarClan."

A chill went down Emberpaw's spine. Not even dying was a guarantee of staying alive? "But what about my father, Leopardwhisker? And Duckkit?"

"They will be in StarClan because you know them and remember them," Elmwhisker said reassuringly, her voice soft and gentle.

"But, I never met my father," the tortoiseshell tom said quietly.

"No, but Eelfoot knew him," said Elmwhisker. "And she let you know him through her stories. So, in a way, you know and remember Leopardwhisker. And that's enough for StarClan."

"How do we know StarClan is real?" Emberpaw asked. "I mean, I know we're all to believe, but... how do we  _know_?"

Both the adult cats shifted their shoulders uncomfortably, and Brokentail coughed. "We don't," he finally admitted after an awkward silence. "But we believe. We believe because we cannot understand. And for me, I believe because it gives me peace. I want to see my mother and brothers again, and my dear sister. I want to see my mentor and my teachers. I can't just accept that they've gone into oblivion." He twitched his tail, his voice cracking ever so slightly that Emberpaw was sure that Elmwhisker couldn't catch it. "I can't."

"I think," Elmwhisker added gently, "that our spirits are too big to go nowhere. We have to go somewhere when we die. Our thoughts, our feelings, our words, our love - it must go somewhere. And even if it's not StarClan, even if it is another sky, another ocean, another earth, it is somewhere." She nodded. "I am sure of that."

_One who believes out of fear,_  thought Emberpaw,  _and one who believes out of love. So what am I supposed to believe?_

"Well, we're close enough to the border now," Elmwhisker announced, breaking off Emberpaw's train of thought. "Emberpaw, can you smell anything?"

Emberpaw opened his mouth and breathed in, lapping up the scents against the roof of his mouth, scraping his rough tongue against the soft, pink flesh. "ThunderClan," he said. "Patchstripe and Aspenfur were here with Jayfur not long ago. A jay was in this tree, I think. Old smells of prey, and... Oh! Oh, I smell a mouse!"

"Shh, be quiet," said Brokentail in a hushed tone. "Now, find it with your eyes, ears, and nose. Then, crouch and get ready to pounce. Claws out, mouth open. You only get one chance, so make it count."

Emberpaw nodded silently, and Elmwhisker and Brokentail hopped off behind a log. He could feel their eyes on him, but they had cleared the area to give him space. The young cat attuned his ears to the sounds of the forest, letting the gentle noise of bird calls and cricket cries fade into one listless ringing as he focused on the chitters and whirrs of land prey. When he finally heard the distinctive chirp of the field mouse, he sniffed for it. It was close, to his right, and the wind was blowing against him. Good. The mouse wouldn't smell him.

Emberpaw dropped to his crouch - like a wave, he told himself, and it worked - and turned on his taut paws. He spun quietly until he saw the mouse nibbling on a small seed just below an oak tree.  _You're mine,_  Emberpaw thought, licking his chops excitedly. His first prey, right in front of him! It seemed so easy.

Emberpaw stepped gently, one paw at a time. He was careful to watch for twigs and pebbles, and moved silent as a snake through the grass and roots. He got closer and closer to the mouse, until he saw the mouse look up at him as the wind changed.  _No!_  Emberpaw sprang forward, but swore he heard a tiny voice in the wind. No time.

The mouse squeaked loudly and dropped its seed, fleeing to the left as Emberpaw came crashing down to earth. Not thinking, the apprentice tore off after the mouse, his tail high as he gave chase. Brokentail and Elmwhisker were calling him, he knew, but their words were melted into the ringing that he had created with the birds and the bugs. His world was his mouse, his goal was his mouse, and by StarClan, he was going to get his mouse.

The mouse scurried up a tree root but got caught in a small divot in the wood. It stumbled, and it was just enough time for Emberpaw to catch up to it. The young cat lunged forward, grabbing the mouse in his jaws and sinking his teeth into its soft belly. The mouse let out a pitiful shriek of terror that was cut off by the sound of gurgling blood as Emberpaw smashed its head into the ground, breaking its neck.

Panting, Emberpaw dropped his kill. His kill. He'd killed something. Blood, hot, bright, sticky, red blood dripped from his fangs and his muzzle and onto the dark, green grass below. The mouse's pink guts sprawled out with its yellowed bones and its light brown fur, its black eyes soulless and empty, staring up at Emberpaw with a look of horror that the young cat would be ill-advised to forget.

Brokentail and Elmwhisker finally caught up to him and stood on either side of his horrified form. "Emberpaw, that was great!" Brokentail said. "Your very first mouse! Aren't you proud?"

"Look how big it is!" Elmwhisker purred. "You should give it to Nightface, it will help her kits grow strong!"

Emberpaw simply blinked, his jaw agape in a stupor, his eyes locked on the tattered creature. "I... Is this what hunting is?"

Brokentail looked puzzled, but then nodded. "Yes, I'm afraid so. It's ugly, but we can't eat otherwise. It'd be best for you to let out all your ill feelings now."

Elmwhisker edged closer to him. "Did you hear it say something?" she asked quietly, so that Brokentail wouldn't hear her.

Emberpaw nodded slightly. "At least, I think so. It was so quiet."

"I hear it too," she said. "What did yours say?"

Emberpaw gulped and shook. "It said... it said, 'Not yet.'"


	15. 14 - Nightfall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had an extra long break today, so I wrote this chapter in the quiet lounge. Enjoy!

The day came and went from that point. Emberpaw brought his mouse back to ThunderClan and began to feel more easy about his hunt as he was praised by the Clan. Tawnypaw and Fireclaw made sure to pay special attention to him, and Fireclaw suggested to Brokentail that their apprentices should train together in battle. Brokentail agreed that this was a good idea, and the two young friends looked at each other with excitement. They had not been able to spend much time together alone since their training began, and so this would be a wonderful day for them.

Emberpaw brought his kill to Nightface, as Elmwhisker suggested, and she was quite pleased with his offer. Emberpaw was also surprised to see that Nightface had company. Lightningclaw had been sent to the nursery while he was away by Beechfur and Goosepaw. "I'm having Thymetail's kits!" she excitedly told him. "I'm so nervous - who do you think they'll look like, me or Thymetail?"

Nightface laughed. "Relax. They'll probably look like him, most kits look like their father. I've had enough to know by now." Nightface was perhaps the most successful queen in ThunderClan, having had five different litters in only three short years, but keeping them alive was another story entirely. Not that anyone would remind her of that, as it caused her much grief.

Emberpaw tended to the elders' moss with Rainpaw. She was also charged with assisting blind Tornface with his bath. "Now, make sure you get everything out of his scars," Whitewhisker gently guided her. "That fleabag needs to be sparkling clean."

"Tch," Tornface scoffed. "Keep that up and I'll show Emberpaw over there how to clean the fleas out of your tailhole, hag."

Rainpaw shot up with horror. "That was rude!" she gasped. "You shouldn't speak to Whitewhisker that way, she's done a lot for this Clan!"

"Ooh, Tornface," purred Lightfur as Emberpaw tucked soft moss into his nest, "you've set little Rainpaw off. Be careful, she'll clobber ya."

"Bah, what does she know?" growled Tornface. He turned his head towards her and scrunched up his muzzle, making the scars on his face much uglier than they usually were. "I may be blind, but I can still fight. I don't have an elder's body yet."

Rainpaw looked horrified for a moment, but then narrowed her eyes and puffed out her tail. "I'm not scared of you, you ugly brute."

Tornface stopped dead in his tracks, then dropped the angry facade and laughed. "Oh, you are a fiery one! Good on you, builds character." He licked her nose playfully. "I wouldn't lay a claw on you, you fearsome beast."

Rainpaw, Tawnypaw, Linnetpaw, and Emberpaw all shared tongues after Rainpaw and Emberpaw were done caring for the elders. Tawnypaw and chatty Linnetpaw went on and on about their battle training. "And out of nowhere," Linnetpaw said, barely stopping to breathe, "here comes this ginger paw flying at my face - bam! Right on my ear! And I'm like, 'Woaaaah!'" She ducked down and rolled on her back to describe the event. "And she starts swatting at my belly! So, I'm like, 'Oh, no you don't!' And I start kicking, right?" She began to pound her hind legs in the air. "But then she grabs my shoulder with her teeth and yanks on me, and I just get pulled right off my back-" She hopped to her feet and went upright. "-and go flying!" Linnetpaw launched herself to the side, smacking into the side of the warriors' den and landing with a melodramatic thud.

Tawnypaw chuckled. "The bigger they are, the harder they fall."

Linnetpaw's head shot up. "Are you calling me fat?!"

"Well, I'm not saying you're light as a feather," the ginger molly purred.

"How rude!"

As the sun stained the sky red, activity began to slow and all the warriors and apprentices were buzzing with chatter, for the Gathering was that night. Leopardstar always kept her list a secret, and only a select few got to know in advance who would attend.

Heathernose and Leopardstar emerged from her den and leapt into place, and the whole Clan was silent. From atop the Highrock, Leopardstar said, "All cats old enough to catch their own prey, join here beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting." Though most of the Clan had already assembled, stragglers like Darkcloud and Brightnose made their way towards the small collective of cats.

"Tonight is the night where all four Clans will meet in peace beneath StarClan's blessed light," Leopardstar called out in a clear voice. "It is my privilege and responsibility as your leader to select who will attend the Gathering to best represent the spirit of ThunderClan."

Linnetpaw leaned over in Emberpaw's ear and whispered, "Leopardstar makes this speech every time there's a Gathering, it's her personal tradition."

"It is a hard decision, as I believe all of you are essential to defining who we are as a Clan, but I have made my selection. Tonight's Gathering attendees are myself, Heathernose, Beechfur, Patchstripe, Thymetail, Brightnose, Darkcloud, Fireclaw, Kestrelpelt, Eelfoot, Jayfur, Elmwhisker, Linnetpaw, Emberpaw, and Rainpaw. Everyone else will stay at camp. Remember to keep a patrol circulating until we come back, for some might choose to violate StarClan's will and harm us while we are meant to meet in peace. We will meet by the gorse tunnel as the first star appears in the night sky."

"What are we to say to RiverClan?" Patchstripe called out. "We haven't slept soundly in half a moon because of them trying to take Sunningrocks! Are we declaring war?"

"ThunderClan has no reason to declare war," Leopardstar insisted. "But, if RiverClan threatens us with violence, we will fight back to protect what is ours."

"Those morons haven't even been anywhere near ThunderClan land since we fought them off!" snarled Thymetail. "If they threaten us, they're fools!"

"Tigerstar is cunning," said Heathernose coolly. "She and her warriors may have been saving their strength after their defeat to attack us again."

"And if they do threaten us, we will be ready," Leopardstar said. "Be respectful but do not be friendly. RiverClan are neither our friends nor our foes right now."

"What of ShadowClan and WindClan?" asked Jayfur. "Are they still our allies?"

"For the time being, yes. But WindClan has always coveted the prey found in ThunderClan's forests, and if RiverClan decides to wage war to take Sunningrocks, WindClan may aid them in exchange for territory. However, ShadowClan has not forgotten how we aided them when their prey made them ill, and they are still in our debt."

Emberpaw's eyes were wide with fascination. The politics of inter-Clan relationships were amazing to him, how one Clan could relate to another. Would he get a chance to be part of it one day? He hoped so!

"Now, are there any more questions?" A brief moment of silence confirmed to Leopardstar that there were not. "Good. Say your farewells for the moment, then meet by the gorse tunnel. When everyone is gathered there, we will go." She jumped down from the rock, her golden tabby pelt subtly rippling with highly controlled muscle, and Heathernose followed her quietly and dutifully. He seemed at times like her pale shadow, even mimicking the way she moved.

Emberpaw shivered with excitement. "The Gathering! I get to go to my very first Gathering!"

"That you do," said Linnetpaw. "But you just got made an apprentice half a moon ago. What'd you do that made you so special to go so soon?"

Emberpaw flinched. Right. The trouble with Goosepaw. Should he mention it? He considered it, wanting to be honest with his friend, but then decided that, no, that would be an invasion of Goosepaw's privacy, and it would be unkind to divulge that information. "I just helped Leopardstar with something earlier, and she was really pleased with me, so I get to go to the Gathering," he said. "It was private business."

Linnetpaw nodded knowingly. "I see. Well, I'm glad you get to go! You'll get to meet great warriors and apprentices from other Clans, and see their leaders and deputies and medicine cats. It's really cool!"

"Is it? I'm really excited!"

"Yeah! And at the turn of every season, there's a really special Gatheirng that we go to." She snickered. "But I won't spoil it for you just yet - you just have to go to believe it!"

"Is that this Gathering?" Emberpaw asked.

"No, that'll be in the one after the next one, when leaf-fall comes. But hopefully you get to go, because it's a really special one. Leopardstar tries to make sure that everyone gets to go to at least one special Gathering, just to be fair. I went to the last special Gathering, when greenleaf started. That was right after Rainpaw and I became apprentices. It was so amazing!"

Tawnypaw came up to the two of them and sat down. "I'm jealous already!" she said. "I really want to go to the Gathering, and Fireclaw's going without me. I made him promise to tell me all about it, though. Will you guys do that, too?"

"Of course!" Emberpaw said. "I would have even if you hadn't asked. And Linnetpaw will tell anyone with ears about anything."

"I have the gift of excellent communication skills, thank you very much!" Linnetpaw sniffed, sticking her nose in the air.

"Oh, is that what they call it now?" Tawnypaw smirked. "Last I checked, it was called 'being a loudmouth.'"

"Ha, ha, very funny. Well, we'll see where my loud mouth takes me! For all you know, I could get RiverClan's next plan of attack out of an unsuspecting apprentice."

"Yeah, or reveal all our battle plans and strategies in the process," Tawnypaw retorted.

Linnetpaw looked stung. "Don't call me disloyal!" she hissed. "That was rude. Really rude. I'm leaving." She looked back at Emberpaw. "See you soon, Emberpaw." And with that, she got up and stormed away, lashing her tail behind her as she went.

Tawnypaw rolled her eyes. "What crawled up her rear?"

Emberpaw frowned. "I think you really hurt her feelings, Tawnypaw. You should apologize."

"Aplogize for what?" Tawnypaw insisted. "I'm sorry that she can't take a joke?"

"She didn't think you were joking," Emberpaw mewed. "She really thought that you were calling her disloyal. And, I mean..." He shuffled his paws nervously. "I think that you went too far with that. I know you were trying to be funny, but it was just mean."

Tawnypaw's whiskers twitched, as though struggling to balance her pride on them. "W-well... well, it was still funny, wasn't it? You laughed."

"Yeah," said Emberpaw, "but it was still mean."

She grimaced, licking her paw and rubbing it on her face. "Hm. Yeah, well. Whatever. I guess I'll say sorry." Tawnypaw's black dots above her eyes twitched as she made a few silly expressions to smooth down the fur on her face. "Anyway, I was gonna say, make sure to have fun at the Gathering for me, all right? I'm pretty jealous that you get to go."

"Of course I will," Emberpaw said, giving her a friendly headbutt. "And I promise to tell you more about it than even Linnetpaw could dream of." He glanced at the small mass of cats at the gorse tunnel and noticed that just about everyone had gathered there. "Well, I need to get going, but I'll see you soon, yeah?"

Tawnypaw nodded. "Definitely. I'll be here when you get back."

"Great. Bye!" Emberpaw dashed off to the gorse tunnel, running into Eelfoot as he arrived. Her warm, dark brown, tabby fur looked so inviting, he just wanted to curl up next to her and feel her warmth like a little kit again. "Hi, Eelfoot," he said, and she looked at him with her brilliant orange eyes.

"Hello, my little Emberpaw," she cooed, licking the top of his head. "Ready for your very first Gathering?"

Emberpaw nodded excitedly.

"Good! I'm so happy I get to go with you, my little kit. Wait until my WindClan friends see you for the first time, they'll be so surprised how big you are, and how much you look like your father."

"Leopardwhisker was a tortoiseshell?" Emberpaw asked.

"No, but he was a ginger tabby with very, very dark stripes, almost brown. Handsome fellow. WindClan missed out when they lost him." She twitched her gray whiskers. "I think that's why they took an interest in me, when they found out I was his new mate. They wanted to see what his children would be like." She pulled him in tight with her forepaws, burying his face in her white chest while he struggled playfully to get free. "And even if you are the only one, you're the only one he really needed."

Emberpaw looked up, resting his marbled chin on her chest, drinking in her smell and her warmth. "Thanks, Eelfoot."

"Anytime, my love."

"Are we ready to go?" called Leopardwhisker.

"Yes!" the gathered cats shouted in unison.

"Good! ThunderClan, move out!"

One by one, the ThunderClan cats moved through the gorse tunnel. Emberpaw's feet tingled with excitement as his sides brushed against the golden gorse. He was really going! He was really on his way to his very first Gathering!

 


	16. 15 - Striking

The ThunderClan cats that were to attend that night's gathering moved on in relative silence, excitement and trepidation buzzing in the air around them. Little Emberpaw's paws prickled with nervousness and curiosity.

When Leopardstar approached Fourtrees, she led her Clan's cats down the hill to the gathering place. A number of cats were already there, and Linnetpaw began to point out where they were from.

"See those cats over there?" she asked Emberpaw, gesturing to a pair of cats, one silver tabby and one lean gray cat. "Those are WindClan. The tabby is Threefoot, and the solid-colored one is Crowstar, WindClan's leader."

"Should I say hello?" Emberpaw asked.

Linnetpaw flicked her ears. "You can, I guess, but most warriors don't approach leaders, so it would be weird for an apprentice to. Threefoot is nice, though. She's very friendly."

"Do they have any apprentices?"

Linnetpaw turned her head. "Doesn't look like it. They didn't have any at the last Gathering, either. Maybe things aren't going well for them."

"Or maybe," said a deep voice from behind the two apprentices, "we just don't feel like bringing them to Gatherings."

Emberpaw turned on his paws, surprised, to see a huge golden-brown tabby tom standing there. He then did a double-take, and his pale yellow eyes widened in awe. This cat was huge, but he was also transfixing. His pelt was light brown with ticks of gold flowing throughout, his stripes were dark and bold, his eyes were a lovely amber color, even lovelier than Eelfoot's orange. His ears were pointed and tapered, his nose was a pale grayish-pink with a white scar running across it, and his whiskers were long and handsomely white.

Linnetpaw dipped her head beside him. "Hello, Eagleclaw."

The warrior nodded towards her, and Emberpaw drank in his wild, earthy smell. "Hello, Linnetpaw of ThunderClan. Tell me, who is your friend?"

"This is Emberpaw," she explained, tapping him on the shoulders with her paw. "He's one of our newest apprentices, along with Tawnypaw, who's not here tonight."

Eagleclaw raised his brows curiously. "A brand new apprentice at a Gathering? You must be special. Tell me, what breeze blew your fur, bunny?"

Linnetpaw leaned in close to Emberpaw's ear discreetly. "He means, 'what good fortune came on you, youngling?'"

Emberpaw gulped. "Um, I-I just - I volunteered to help Leopardstar with something important, and she was really pleased with me." Why was he so nervous? Eagleclaw was huge, certainly, and if he remembered Tornface's story right, was the cat to accidentally blind and maim him, but he appeared to be very calm and nonthreatening.

"Ah, ambition to help others," Eagleclaw purred, a smile creeping across his features. "That's good, that's very good. You will be a fine warrior with that attitude. Tell me, how fares Tornface of ThunderClan? I've not spoken with him in many a moon since his retirement."

"He's doing well," Emberpaw replied. "He told me about you when I was young."

"Ah, yes, I remember that battle. He put up a good fight. I do still feel guilty about his injury, though. Does he bear ill will towards me?"

Emberpaw shook his head. "Not at all. He says he's forgiven the whole thing and that it was just an accident. He's pretty happy with being retired."

Eagleclaw nodded, looking relieved. "That's good to hear. He's a good cat. We were friends before his accident. Tell him I send the warmest winds his way, would you?"

The tortoiseshell nodded. "Sure, no problem!"

Eagleclaw dipped his head. "Thank you. I must be going, now. It was lovely to meet you, Emberpaw. And lovely seeing you, Linnetpaw. I wish you both well in your training."

"Thank you!" both apprentices chirped as the big tabby lumbered off to chat with some other cats.

Linnetpaw looked at Emberpaw with a funny expression. "You were pretty weird back there, y'know? I mean, he maimed Tornface, even if it was an accident. What was with you?"

Emberpaw pinned his ears back, licking his paws and washing his face nervously. "Um, I dunno, really. I guess I was just nervous meeting a warrior from another Clan for the first time."

"Yeah," the green-eyed apprentice said, "but you looked bewitched. You looked at him like a molly looks at a tom she fancies. Pretty weird."

"Linnetpaw, Linnetpaw!" a small brown cat chirped excitedly, rushing up to greet the two apprentices. Her tabby stripes didn't come into view until she came very close to them.

"Rabbitpaw, hello!" Linnetpaw chirped, nuzzling her face excitedly. "Emberpaw, this is my friend Rabbitpaw."

"Hi, Emberpaw!" Rabbitpaw said. "I'm from RiverClan. I guess you're from ThunderClan?"

Emberpaw nodded. "Yeah. This is my first Gathering. We just met Eagleclaw of WindClan."

"Oh, I missed him?!" Rabbitpaw said, looking dismayed. "Fish guts! I wish I could have seen him! He's so pretty, isn't he?"

Emberpaw started to speak, but Linnetpaw talked over him. "Yeah, he's nice-looking, I guess, but he's from _WindClan_ , remember?" She cuffed Rabbitpaw on the head. "You know the code!"

"Who cares?" mewed Rabbitpaw, cupping her face with her forepaws. "I'd break the warrior code a thousand times over for Eagleclaw!"

Linnetpaw rolled her eyes. "You mouse-brain."

Emberpaw chuckled, feeling somehow envious. Of course Rabbitpaw was allowed to fawn over whoever she liked, she was a molly. Mollies could fawn and giggle and coo. Toms, apparently, could not.

"Emberpaw!" the young apprentice heard over the din of cats. "Emberpaw, come this way!"

Emberpaw shuffled his feet. "That's Eelfoot, I should go."

"It was nice meeting you!" Rabbitpaw chirped. "May your water run clear!"

"And may your trees stand strong," Emberpaw returned. He nodded briefly to Linnetpaw and then turned off and walked across the clearing. There was dark-furred Eelfoot with Threefoot and a golden brown molly he didn't recognize. "Hello, Eelfoot," he greeted politely.

"Sandfoot, Threefoot, this is my son, Emberpaw," Eelfoot said, pulling him close.

"Oh, how  _cute_!" Threefoot gushed, using her one foreleg to touch his face. "Oh, he's got a chin just like his father's, down to the little speck!" Threefoot then stopped and looked at him with her pale green eyes before giggling. "Oh, excuse me, how rude. I'm Threefoot, if you couldn't tell." She gestured to the blank opening on her body where her left foreleg should have been. "And this is Sandfoot. We were close friends of Leopardwhisker's when he was in WindClan."

"Actually," said Sandfoot, "I'm his littermate. We were very close, it was so sad to see him leave."

"So, you're my aunt?" Emberpaw asked.

Sandfoot giggled. "Yes, Auntie Sandfoot, that's me!"

Emberpaw smiled, feeling very comfortable with these cats. He began to wonder just what it was that truly divided the Clans. What makes a ThunderClan cat ThunderClan, if not birth? What makes a WindClan cat? Was Leopardwhisker truly WindClan at heart, or did he become a part of ThunderClan? Was Tornface really ShadowClan? Was Lightfur really a kittypet?

"So," Threefoot mewed, breaking Emberpaw's concentration, "tell us a little about yourself. We can already tell you're special, what with your pelt and all."

"It must be a sign from StarClan," Sandfoot said. "A sign that Leopardwhisker and Eelfoot were truly meant to be."

Eelfoot giggled. "You romantic crow, stop the nonsense." But Emberpaw could see the slight fear in her eyes, the way her paws became taut and small, as if she had something else to say.

"Well, I think it's quite beautiful," Sandfoot said. "You know how much he loved you."

"I know that," Eelfoot replied.

"Oh, hush up, and stop opening old wounds," Threefoot said, putting her forepaw on Sandfoot's nose. She turned to look at Emberpaw. "Anyway, dear, you were saying?"

But just as Emberpaw was about to speak, a yowl from the Great Rock pierced the night, and the cats of the Clans gathered around in a great swath. There they were, the four leaders of the Clans. Leopardstar of ThunderClan, Tigerstar of RiverClan, Crowstar of WindClan, and Kitestar of ShadowClan. "Cats of all Clans," Kitestar was saying, his reddish-brown tabby spots rippling with muscle, "this Gathering has officially begun!" He looked at the other three leaders. "Who would like to speak first?"

"I would," Crowstar said, and Kitestar bowed his head and backed away, letting her take the foremost spot. "WindClan's prey is running well. We should have three litters of kits born by the beginning of leaf-fall, and apprentices Sparrowpaw and Littlepaw are doing well in their training, though they could not be here tonight. Threefoot caught scent of a runaway dog on our territory, and though it may not be immediately dangerous to cats, since it is a small dog, its Twolegs will be looking for it, so please be aware of Twolegs and dogs. That is all."

Kitestar bowed at her. "If it is all right, I would like to speak next." The other leaders nodded for him to go, and he took the foremost position. "It is with great sadness I report that my former deputy, Boulderheart, recently passed on to StarClan due to a case of greencough. He was an honorable, kind, and just cat, and I am certain that he is watching over us all right now." He gripped the rock with his claws as he said that, and a pang of sympathy struck Emberpaw right in the heart. They must have been very close. "However, I have chosen the noble and courageous Mudflower to succeed him. Her kits have recently left the nursery, and she is ready and able to become ShadowClan's next leader if I were to die tonight. I am that confident in her abilities."

"Mudflower! Mudflower!" the gathered cats cheered, and a pretty brown tabby seated at the base of the Great Rock dipped her head in gratitude. Her belly bore the marks of a cat who had had many, many kits, even more than Nightface. "Thank you," she mouthed, her voice drowned out by the cheering of many.

Kitestar raised his tail for silence, and the cheering slowly came to a stop. "Mudflower also tells me that Foxfang and Toadfoot fought off a badger in our territory. We tried to chase it to the outside territory, but it crossed the Thunderpath and went into ThunderClan territory." He shot an apologetic look at Leopardstar. "We apologize for this, Leopardstar, and will be willing to send warriors if you need assistance in defeating it."

"No need," Leopardstar said, shaking her head. "ThunderClan can take care of itself. But your offer is kind. Thank you."

Kitestar nodded. "Anytime." He backed away, and Tigerstar of RiverClan marched forward, without even looking at Leopardstar.

"RiverClan has much to report," she said. "Half a moon ago, two of our warriors spotted a ThunderClan apprentice on RiverClan territory. They chased him off, but Leopardstar of ThunderClan declared that the territory was now ThunderClan's. They fought us in battle and defeated us, but RiverClan will not face such utter humiliation without a fight."

"Except that is not how it happened," Leopardstar growled, marching up to Tigerstar. "Your warriors, Applefur and Nightfur, were caught by young Emberpaw hunting and pissing all over Sunningrocks, which has always belonged to ThunderClan. And, I should add, that when your warriors caught Emberpaw, who had only just become an apprentice that day, they pinned him down, threatened him, and pissed all over him like a muddy stone." She snarled and lashed her tail. "There are many things I will tolerate, Tigerstar, but dishonesty is not one of them."

"Sunningrocks has always been RiverClan land!" Tigerstar hissed. "If the river had not changed, it would still be ours!"

"But it did," said Leopardstar. "And it's ours."

"It won't be for long. RiverClan is officially declaring war on ThunderClan for Sunningrocks!"

"ThunderClan will fight back!" Heathernose snarled. "We will not be beaten!"

Tigerstar sniffed. "You ThunderClan cats might win one or two fights, but RiverClan has the gift of persistence. We will utterly crush you. You will melt beneath our paws like sand."

"ThunderClan will never be beaten by the likes of you," hissed Leopardstar. "We will win this war, and Sunningrocks will remain ours, and we will not let you within a mouselength of it!"

"You just try to stop us," growled Tigerstar. "You try, and you will inevitably fail. Surrender now and give us Sunningrocks, or it'll be your blood will be on the stones."

"ThunderClan  _never_  surrenders."

Tigerstar twitched her whiskers. "Fine. Have it your way, Leopardstar. Send your Clan to slaughter for a few stones. I'm sure they'll have great trust in you after they see their mothers, brothers, fathers, sisters, and children dead."

"Killing is against the warrior code," Kitestar snarled. "I will not stand by and let you threaten a Clan with death."

"I'm not threatening," Tigerstar replied. "I'm simply stating a fact."

"Be gone from us, Tigerstar," Crowstar said, lowering her head angrily. "Look at the moon." Emberpaw looked up and saw a dark cloud covering its surface. "StarClan is displeased with you. They will block you out of paradise if you continue down this bloody path."

"No paradise," Tigerstar said, "is better than Sunningrocks." With that, she leapt down from the Great Rock along with her deputy, Littlenose, and called for the RiverClan cats to follow her. From across the clearing, Linnetpaw and Rabbitpaw could be seen looking at each other fearfully, and Rabbitpaw lurched away after a tiny but clearly adult gray tom snapped at her.

The gathered cats conversed with each other nervously, and Leopardstar took the Great Rock's foremost peak. "As I said, ThunderClan will fight back against RiverClan in this battle. If WindClan or ShadowClan wish to ally themselves with ThunderClan, you have a quarter moon to do so."

"I make my decision now," said Kitestar. "ShadowClan will assist ThunderClan in this war." Some of his cats hissed, but Mudflower silenced them.

"Ingrates!" she snarled. "Have you all forgotten how ThunderClan saved our lives? If it were not for ThunderClan, there would not be a ShadowClan today. We do not have to like them, but we must respect them and pay back our debt." The ShadowClan cats were virtually silent after that, save for a few quiet but wordless grumbles.

Leopardstar looked like a mix between relief and anxiety. "Thank you, Kitestar." She looked around at the clearing. "We cannot continue a Gathering with only three Clans. This Gathering is over."

"Agreed," said the other two leaders, and the Clans began to gather amongst themselves and part ways.

Leopardstar looked quite frazzled as she jumped down from the Great Rock, but Heathernose, contrary to how Emberpaw knew him, looked gentle and understanding, standing beside her as her support.

She swirled her tail for the ThunderClan cats to follow her, but did not look at them. It was Heathernose, instead, who cried out, "ThunderClan, this way!"

Nervously, the ThunderClan cats followed their leader. Emberpaw couldn't help but wonder in the back of his mind - would this be he last Gathering as well as his first? Would he live to see the next one? He was hardly trained, what chance did he have of surviving a war?


	17. 16 - Courage

The ThunderClan cats sulked back to camp, with Leopardstar walking side by side with Heathernose, who was whispering to her soothingly. Emberpaw was on his mother's heels, but she was leaning on Darkcloud, and he couldn't seek comfort in her warm pelt. Linnetpaw and Rainpaw were on either side of him, with Linnetpaw looking quite sad and Rainpaw looking worried and anxious. They moved in silence, letting the last chirping crickets of the season sing their dirges.

Leopardstar walked through the gorse tunnel as they reached camp, and as the Gathering cats headed back in in single file, she clambered to the Highrock. "Cats of ThunderClan," she called out. "Come to the Highrock for an important Clan meeting."

Nightface, whose belly was quite swollen now, came out with Lightningclaw from the nursery, and even the elders emerged from their den. Kestrelpelt called up to Leopardstar, "Tawnypaw and Goosepaw are out collecting herbs."

"Bring them to me at once. I will speak with you three privately when you return. This cannot wait." Kestrelpelt leapt up and raced out the gorse tunnel, calling for the two apprentices as she left.

"Cats of ThunderClan," Leopardstar said as the hushed whispers began to still, "it is with a heavy heart that I bring you terrible news. RiverClan has declared war on us. We accepted.

"I know that war is risky. Very risky. Some of you may not come out of this war alive. I hope it is me rather than you." She sighed and took a deep breath, shaking her head. The battle scars on her face, Emberpaw noticed, looked more like marks of age now, etched into her skin with the pain of living. "We cannot afford to lose. ThunderClan will not be defeated."

"I'll kill any RiverClan cat that harms my Clanmates!" valiant Cherrytail screeched. "Let them come, we'll crush them with the strength of a thousand storms!"

"Cherrytail is right!" Marigoldclaw shouted, puffing up her ginger fur. "StarClan has blessed me with the gift of fighting, and I will use it to defend our territory! Sunningrocks will remain ours!"

"No cat will die on my watch!" Beechfur cried out. "I will keep this Clan fit and strong! With Goosepaw and StarClan by my side, we can never be beaten!"

Leopardstar chuckled. "Bless your courage, my noble Clanmates. You give my spirit strength in these trying times."

"The thunder in our hearts," Heathernose said, raising his tail with confidence, "will ring throughout the whole forest!"

"They'll sing songs of our courage!" Rainpaw shouted, startling all those immediately around her. "We will live and die as heroes! We will not cower!"

"Death to RiverClan!" Cherrytail yowled. "Tooth and claw curse them!"

"Death to RiverClan!" howled Lightfur, then Brightnose, then Jayfur.

"I'll shred them all!" Lightningclaw snarled. "No RiverClan mongrel will lay a claw on my kits' home!"

"As will I!" Nightface agreed.

Then the Clan became an uproar of screeches, howls, and battle cries. A cacophony of war songs came from the cats of ThunderClan that night.

"Shred them!"

"Claw them!"

"Break their jaws!"

"Slash their throats!"

"Kill them all!"

"ThunderClan forever!"

"RiverClan will fall!"

Even Leopardstar worked up the strength to let out a great cry, an ancient saying passed down from leader to leader in ThunderClan's history. "O, tumult and grandeur, what fierce eyes you have! Blessed are those who behold your might, and blessed more are those who capture you!"

"Yes!" several ThunderClan cats shouted while others repeated the phrase. Even Emberpaw could not keep himself from getting caught up in their collective bloodlust. Though he had never seen battle, he imagined rivers of blood pooling from his enemy's throat. Killing might be against the code, but it might be necessary to live. RiverClan was to invade his home? Never! They would die trying.

Tawnypaw and Goosepaw ran in through the gorse tunnel, led by Kestrelpelt. "What's going on?" Tawnypaw asked.

"War with RiverClan!" Cherrytail replied. "They declared war for Sunningrocks, and we're fighting back!"

"Silence!" Heathernose yowled in a loud voice, and every cat immediately stopped talking. The tingling of bloodlust hung like a swarm of bees swirling around the ThunderClan cats, but they were silent and obedient.

Leopardstar cleared her throat. "Apprentice training will be double time. Patrols will also double in frequency. Every patrol must have one runner, and there should always be at least five warriors in camp to defend the elders and queens. Beechfur, Goosepaw, collect as many herbs as you can and stock your stores to the brim. Everyone, be vigilant for your lives depend on it. We are officially at war."

"And we will win!" Heathernose assured. The cats of ThunderClan agreed heartily, and Leopardstar nodded.

"Thymetail, Darkcloud, Eelfoot, Marigoldclaw, and Fireclaw will go on patrol now. Heathernose will head the patrol after them and will select the cats to go with him. I'm going to ShadowClan's border now to meet with Kitestar and Mudflower to recruit ShadowClan's aid and plan a mass attack on RiverClan with them. Brokentail, Kestrelpelt, and their apprentices will come with me. Everyone else should either hunt or get some sleep. Dismissed."

Thymetail lifted his white body above the crowd and trotted over to Lightningclaw, licking her face mercilessly. Emberpaw snuck close to hear them speak, crouching behind Nightface.

"Be safe, Lightningclaw," Thymetail was telling her. "Please be safe. I can't lose you. I'm not strong enough."

The golden tabby chuckled. "Did you forget what I was named for? I'll defend this Clan with my life, and I will not die." But she nuzzled him gently. "Be careful, my swift one."

"Emberpaw!" Brokentail's loud call broke the young apprentice's concentration, and he shot up behind the black-furred queen. "Come here at once, stop eavesdropping!"

"Y-yes, Brokentail!" He bolted off towards the silver tabby and met him and calico Kestrelpelt by the elders' den, escorting Tornface back into his nest.

"Stop fretting about me," the gorse-colored tom was saying. "I may be blind, but I'm ugly enough to scare that vain RiverClan lot away."

"Hush, you fool," Whitewhisker told him not unkindly. "Accept that you are vulnerable and you will be that much better at fighting like your life depends on it."

Tornface flicked his ears. "I'd rather fight for others who need it more."

"Idiot," Whitewhisker replied, her old eyes darkening with sadness. "You absolute idiot." But she wrapped her body around his as he laid down, clinging to him tightly, as if he was a small kit.

Brokentail waved his crooked tail to catch Emberpaw's attention. As Emberpaw turned to look at him, he noticed Brokentail's somber expression, his yellow eyes looking gentler than Emberpaw had seen them before. "Are you scared?" he asked. "It's okay. I am too."

Emberpaw nodded slightly.

Kestrelpelt licked the top of his head. "Don't worry. We'll stick together and we'll look out for each other."

"Because we're ThunderClan?" Emberpaw asked.

Kestrelpelt nodded, a smile cracking across her ginger and white muzzle. "Yes, exactly." She licked his ear and called her daughter to her.

Rainpaw rushed to her side, pressing against her pelt and rubbing her cheeks against her shoulder, as if to say, "You're mine, you're my mother and no one will take you from me." Her gray-striped tail twitched nervously, and she kept her yellow-green eyes shut with fear.

Kestrelpelt draped her tail over Rainpaw's. "Now, now, my darling," she cooed with her raspy, harsh voice. "Now's not the time for crying."

"But I'm scared, Mama," Rainpaw sobbed, her breathing labored and heavy. "I don't wanna lose you. I don't really want to fight in a war. I just want to train with you and become a warrior."

"Shh, shh, shh, my sweet, shh... We all do things that we're afraid to do. That's what makes us warriors. That's what makes us ThunderClan, the Clan of courage."

"I don't wanna be ThunderClan, then!" she squeaked. "I just wanna stay with you and Linnetpaw."

"Now, that's no way for a daughter of mine to talk," Kestrelpelt said soothingly. "My dear, I know you. You are so quiet and soft, hardly anyone would notice you creeping about. But I've seen your eyes light with fire, I've seen you conquer your fears with more strength than I ever could. Do you remember that time there was a badger outside the camp when you and Linnetpaw were just baby kits?"

Rainpaw nodded, looking up at Kestrelpelt with wide eyes.

"Well, do you remember what you said?"

"Uh-uh." The apprentice shook her head.

"Rainpaw, you looked straight at the wall of the nursery right as it was scratching the earth, and you said, 'Go away! Nobody wants you here, you ugly badger!' And I thought that was the bravest thing in the world." She tapped Rainpaw under the chin with her forepaw. "My little love, you have storms brewing inside you."

Emberpaw looked to Brokentail, hoping he would say something, but his mentor just stared intensely, looking as though he wanted to open his mouth but could not. He was like a mirror image of Rainpaw in that moment; he was scared and looking to someone else for words of wisdom, because he feared his own inadequacy.

Rainpaw looked thoughtful, then nodded. "Okay. Okay, I'm ready. I can do this."

A smile broke across the tortoiseshell-and-white molly's face. "That's my girl."

Brokentail coughed. "Well. If that is the case, let's wait for Leopardstar."

"No need to wait," the golden tabby said, walking up to the small group. "Let's go. We haven't a moment to waste."


	18. 17 - Certainty

Leopardstar, Kestrelpelt, Brokentail, Rainpaw, and Emberpaw slunk through their territory silently, stepping over broken twigs and moving in pairs, with Leopardstar at the head. "Be careful and stay quiet," she warned in a low voice. "RiverClan may be in our territory to attack. Stay alert."

Emberpaw gulped. This wasn't just getting bullied by two mean warriors anymore. This was war. This was real, bloody war, and he couldn't even fight. He could barely even hunt. How was he to survive? Would RiverClan kill him?

Rainpaw twitched her whiskers against his neck, causing the young tortie to turn his head. She said nothing, but she gave him a soft headbutt on his pink nose, and he breathed onto her head in relief. He needed to stop worrying. The Clan was a unit. They would all protect each other.

The sharp, disgusting smell of the Thunderpath filled Emberpaw's nose and he silently gagged, still not used to its stench. Leopardstar, unfazed, turned her head this way and that, flicking her ears about. "No monsters. Kestrelpelt, Rainpaw, you go first."

The calico molly and her silver daughter walked as a pair up to the flat black stone. "On three," Kestrelpelt rasped. "One. Two. Three."

The two mollies tore across the Thunderpath, racing like WindClan cats until they made it to the other side. They stopped, used their eyes, ears, and noses to check for ShadowClan, then turned around and lifted their tails, the universal "all clear" symbol.

"Good. Brokentail, go with Emberpaw."

"But what about you?" Emberpaw asked quietly.

Leopardstar gave him a hard look not unlike the one she had given Goosepaw and Beechfur when they were bickering in her den. Had that really been earlier this morning? It seemed like it had happened seasons ago. "A warrior obeys their leader without question," she told him.

Emberpaw might have felt stung under different circumstances, but he was beginning to understand. Leopardstar wanted to go last to make sure that, even if something happened to her, her warriors were safe. Going alone would ensure that. "Yes, Leopardstar," he told her, sidling up to Brokentail, who had his eyes fixed on his Clanmates across the way.

"Clear?" Brokentail asked.

Leopardstar sniffed and looked around. "Still clear. Go."

"With me on three, Emberpaw."

Emberpaw tensed his paws, tucking his claws in tight so they wouldn't get caught. "Ready."

"One." The apprentice took a deep breath. "Two." He tightened his hindquarters, pinning his ears back against his head. "Three!"

The pair tore across the Thunderpath. Emberpaw yiped at the feeling of the strange stone, but Brokentail nipped him on the ear. "Keep running!" he shouted at him, and Emberpaw quickly followed. Lights and loud sounds echoed in the distance, and the ground beneath Emberpaw's feet began to shake, but before anything could happen, soft earth and dead grass was under his paws. He barreled right into Kestrelpelt and fell on his side, his face hitting something sharp. "Ow!" he hissed, aching and trembling with adrenaline.

Before Emberpaw's eyes, a gigantic silver creature with round, black paws that turned impossibly fast on the creature's ankles zoomed past, blinding him with its glowing yellow eyes. It left behind a noxious stench, making him gag. The rumbling and noise eventually faded as it continued along the Thunderpath, and Emberpaw could see Leopardstar across the way.

Brokentail lifted his old injury like a flag, signalling to Leopardstar that the territory was clear.

Leopardstar sniffed and looked around, then decided that it was clear on her end. She raised her tail before tucking it behind her as she prepared to run. For a moment, hesitance flashed across her face, and Emberpaw wondered if it would have been there had Heathernose been by her side.

The golden tabby raced across the Thunderpath with incredible control. Her body flowed like a river, her muscles moving so naturally. She ran like a frightened deer, and Emberpaw suddenly understood why she had been called Leopardstream as a warrior.

Leopardstar met her Clanmates and stopped to catch her breath. She looked around and sniffed them all. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"We're fine," Kestrelpelt said, "but Emberpaw took a little tumble. Scratched his face up, too."

"We'll have Bluepaw look at that," Leopardstar said. When she noticed the look of utter confusion that spread across Emberpaw's face, she elaborated. "Bluepaw is the medicine cat apprentice of ShadowClan. Batleaf is his mentor."

"Is he my age?" Emberpaw asked.

"A little older. Let's get moving. Kitestar and Mudflower are waiting."

"No need to go anywhere," a voice with the texture of honey said, and Emberpaw saw the brown-furred Mudflower emerge from tall marsh grass with Kitestar by her side. "Hello, Leopardstar, ThunderClan warriors."

"Good evening," she replied. "Apologies we couldn't meet on friendlier terms."

"The sun sets when it will," Kitestar replied. "No need to fret. Come, we have much to discuss. Let us do that from the safety of our camp." Kitestar's amber eyes searched across the small party and then asked, "Where is Heathernose?"

"At camp," Leopardstar replied tersely. "I have brought two warriors and their apprentices in his place."

Kitestar nodded. "Fair enough."

Emberpaw must have caught Mudflower's eye, and she approached him. "What's that you've got on your face, love?" she asked him, prodding at his injury with her nose.

"Ouch! I-I'm not sure," Emberpaw replied, not wanting to be unfriendly. "I fell when I crossed the Thunderpath."

"First time?" Mudflower asked. He nodded. "Ah, you must have run too fast. By the way, I'm so sorry, I haven't asked for your names. I'm Mudflower."

"There are my warriors," Leopardstar said. "Brokentail, Kestrelpelt, and their apprentices, Emberpaw and Rainpaw."

Mudflower nodded a friendly 'hello.' Emberpaw's heart warmed a bit. She reminded him in many ways of his own mother, but she acted like a mother to all of them. He wondered briefly if that would make her a good leader, but remembering how Eelfoot's vigilant parenting had shaped him for the better, he decided that mothers were probably the best leaders.

The small group began to walk back to ShadowClan's camp. Mudflower chatted pleasantly with Kestrelpelt and Brokentail, making small talk. Rainpaw stared at the strange territory, enamored with the new types of trees and animals. Emberpaw could see questions just brimming in her head, but now was not the time or place to ask them.

Emberpaw, meanwhile, kept his eye closely on Mudflower. He held a deep admiration for her. She was confident, pleasant, happy, and gentle, but by no means weak. She would be a great leader, and Emberpaw felt himself wanting to be like her. How easily she spoke with others, how deeply in touch she was with her ability to love and to mother. He had always admired motherly qualities, but Eelfoot told him it was from being in the nursery without a playmate for so long. But that wasn't true, because he had Tawnypaw and Kestrelpelt's kits.

So why did he admire motherly qualities so much? Certainly, Eelfoot had shaped him to admire strength, courage, confidence, and honor, and those were all things he admired in mothers, but there was something special about the ability to mother that he deeply appreciated. Could he cultivate that gift for himself? Could he be a mother one day?

... Of course not, what was he thinking? He could never be a mother, only a father. He was a tom.

_Are you sure?_  a tiny voice rang in his head, and Emberpaw thought he saw a flash of black and white fur in the distance, but when he looked, there was nothing there.

_Was_  he sure?

* * *

ShadowClan's camp was a small, slightly elevated dry space amidst their marshy lands. It was like the island as described in the elders' stories for RiverClan's camp, but sparser and with more grassy plants. They had arranged a slightly elevated bundle of dry grass for the ShadowClan leader to speak to their Clan upon, and Emberpaw noted that it paled in comparison to the Highrock in ThunderClan's camp.

Kitestar's den was amidst a group of cattail plants, but Emberpaw was sent by Mudflower to Batleaf's den. "It's right by the nursery," she explained. "There's one very long cattail sticking out above it, you can't miss it. Ask anyone in camp for help if you get lost." Indeed, ShadowClan's camp was wider in size than ThunderClans, but everything in it looked pretty much the same, no bushes or hollows to be found.

Thanks to Mudflower's instructions, he was able to find the medicine den easily. "Excuse me?" he asked, poking his head through the small covering of lichen. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

"Who are you?" a grouchy voice said, and Emberpaw saw a black molly with one bright green eye looking at him. "You're not from my Clan."

"No, I'm not. My name is Emberpaw, I just came with the ThunderClan party."

"And I'm Batleaf, queen of rotted berries and dead babies. Have we had enough chit-chat, or should I talk about miscarried kittens some more?"

What a grouch!

"I'm sorry to bother you," he said nervously. "I was sent here because I fell crossing the Thunderpath and hurt my face. Something's stuck in it."

"Oh, boo-hoo, you got a widdle scratch!" Batleaf snarled. "I'm not wasting my herbs on a ThunderClan klutz! Come back to me when you have a real injury." She stalked back into the den, tail lashing in agitation.

Emberpaw gulped, feeling horribly guilty. Batleaf may have been nasty, but she was right. There was no reason for a ShadowClan cat to waste their precious herbs on a ThunderClan cat, not with war on the horizon.

Just then, a handsome blue-gray tom came from the den. "Sorry, did she frighten you?" he asked, his dark yellow eyes looking concerned. "I told her to go easy on you, but Batleaf likes to be nasty sometimes. My name is Bluepaw. You said yours was Emberpaw?"

The tortoiseshell nodded. Bluepaw was handsome, and Emberpaw felt it almost a waste that such a good-looking tom would be stuck to a life of celibacy. He could have fathered strong kits.

"Hmm, come this way. Looks like you've got some glass in your face."

"Glass?" Emberpaw asked as he walked into the den. It was much roomier than the medicine den in ThunderClan's camp, roomy enough for Batleaf and Bluepaw to have almost entirely separate sleeping areas. "What is that?"

"It's a Twoleg thing," Bluepaw explained as he pawed through his herb store. The herbs of ShadowClan cats were not stuck into small compartments like ThunderClan's, but rather laid out on a curious little thing made of sticks and moss. The sticks had pieces of moss sitting on top of them, and the herbs were laid on top of the moss. "They put it in their monsters and on their nests. It's how you can see inside them clearly. Sometimes it breaks, and it's very sharp, so you must always be careful around the Thunderpath, hmm. Aah, there it is." Bluepaw pulled out a strange-looking marsh plant that was slightly damp along with some cobwebs. "This will help wet your skin and make it easier to pull the glass out while also cleaning your wound."

Emberpaw nodded as Bluepaw went to work putting the leafy thing on his face. It stung a bit, but he could feel the glass slowly lifting out of place. His eyes drifted to the moss-and-twigs thing. "What's that you put your herbs on?" he asked.

"Oh, that? Hmm, not sure what it's called, to be honest," Bluepaw replied. "But medicine cats from ShadowClan built it a long time ago. We patch it up every so often, but it's remained untouched for the most part. Never even been destroyed in battle, bless StarClan."

"Oh, that's interesting."

"Hmm. Hold still, please. This will hurt, but please remain calm. It will be over shortly. Apologies." Without further warning, Bluepaw put his teeth around the leaf-covered glass and yanked it out of Emberpaw's skin. The tortie hissed in pain, but he did feel better now that the glass was gone.

"Thank you," he said.

"No need," Bluepaw replied, patting the cobwebs on Emberpaw's face. "Now, just try to avoid eating for about half of the night to keep your face still while that heals up. Your medicine cats can replace the cobwebs if these get dirty, but it's important to keep them on until the bleeding stops altogether. If you don't, you leave the wound exposed and vulnerable to infection."

"Bluepaw!" Batleaf growled. "Did you patch up that ThunderClan idiot?"

"It didn't take much," Bluepaw called, looking away from Emberpaw and towards Batleaf's nest. "Just some cobwebs and marsh herbs, we can replace those easily, you herb-hog!"

Emberpaw was shocked at the disrespect Bluepaw seemed to show.

"Ugh, you failed early-end, you're such a pest! Stop being such a goody-four-paws!"

Bluepaw chuckled warmly. "I will when you stop being such a rotten old hag!"

"What was that?!" Batleaf stormed into the den and tackled Bluepaw to the ground. "What was that, you little pest?"

Emberpaw was frightened at first, but he noticed that the two cats were only playing like cheeky kits. He supposed insults were a form of love between these two. It was heartwarming, at least, to see two medicine cats get along.

"Am I free to go?" he asked.

Bluepaw giggled as Batleaf nuzzled his face as though he was her kit, and he looked at Emberpaw, trying to hold back his grin. "Yes, yes, you're free to go, hmm. Good night."

"Good night," Emberpaw replied. "You too, Batleaf, good night."

"Scram, you runt!" Batleaf snarled, but Bluepaw's knowing wink told Emberpaw that she was only teasing this time. He nodded politely and left the den, headed towards Kitestar's nest. With any luck, he should still have been discussing battle plans with Emberpaw's group, and Emberpaw wouldn't miss too much.


	19. 18 - Brokentail

Emberpaw tread lightly through the ShadowClan camp, nodding politely at a ginger warrior. The tom looked at him coldly but returned the nod before turning around and refusing to look at him. Emberpaw tensed and kept his eyes on the ground. It appeared ShadowClan was not as friendly as Kitestar and Mudflower were.

Emberpaw approached a collection of reeds propped up awkwardly in a way that he guessed was Kitestar's den. But when he tried to enter, two golden tabbies blocked his way. One, the largest, was a molly, and the smaller was a tomcat with dark stripes.

"No one enters Kitestar's den without permission," the smaller one said, unsheathing his claws. "Who are you? You're not ShadowClan!"

"M-my name is Emberpaw," the little apprentice gulped. "I'm with the ThunderClan cats."

"Tch! Of course you are. You ThunderClan cats think you know and own everything, don't you?" the small tom said. "Lumbering about your forest, acting all superior." He sniffed, and the molly raised a paw to his nose.

"Enough, Beestep," she told him.

"Hornetpelt!" Beestep gasped. "Don't encourage him, he's ThunderClan!"

"And he was given permission to enter," Hornetpelt replied coolly. "You know that he should go in."

"I don't like it one bit, not one little bit!" Beestep said, and Emberpaw began to wonder if he was supposed to talk or to just leave these two to fight it out themselves. "An alliance with ThunderClan without consulting us? What was Kitestar thinking? We are not ThunderClan's pets, we are ShadowClan!"

"And ShadowClan is currently ThunderClan's ally," Hornetpelt said. "And a warrior does not disobey his leader's orders. Now, leave the child alone and let him inside."

Beestep growled, gave Emberpaw a nasty look, but eventually backed off. "Go on, go in before I change my mind," he grumbled. Hornetpelt nodded at Emberpaw, backing up as well, giving him a clear entrance to Kitestar's den. He mewed a quiet thank you and scurried inside just as they started to bicker again.

Kitestar's den was quite shallow and dark, and not nearly as well-protected from the elements as Leopardstar's. Emberpaw felt his whiskers brush uncomfortably against the entranceway, and he felt horribly claustrophobic. The two ShadowClan cats in charge and the entire ThunderClan party was in the den as well, making him feel quite nervous. Small spaces were not his favorite place to be.

"...so, if we station some warriors here, we can stay on the defensive," Leopardstar was saying, gesturing with her paws at some acorns, moss, and twigs laid out on the ground.

Kitestar groomed his face. "I don't like it," he said. "You ask too much of us. My Clan needs to protect itself, too."

"Only RiverClan has declared war," Leopardstar tried to assure.

Mudflower poked her head out from behind the red tabby. "Oh, Emberpaw, you're back! Hello!"

He coughed shyly as all eyes turned to him, heat pulsing under his cobweb bandages. "Hello. Sorry to interrupt."

"That's fine, Emberpaw. Come here, we'll brief you," Leopardstar said as Rainpaw scooted somewhat to the right, giving him room to squeeze between her and Leopardstar.

"Our plan so far," Kitestar said, "is to send five ShadowClan warriors back to ThunderClan with you to stay in your camp, so that more of you may go out, patrol, and fight RiverClan. We will take no prey."

"But I still think," rasped Kestrelpelt, "that we should have three more, to help us fight."

"We'll be left defenseless if we do that," Kitestar said. "Our Clan is not as big as ThunderClan."

"We understand that," Brokentail replied, "but we will be facing the whole of RiverClan, and one of our best fighters has just been sent to the nursery."

"If I may," Mudflower interjected, bringing the discussion to a halt. "Look here." She gestured down at the acorns and twigs between the two Clans.

"Here is Sunningrocks," she said, pushing a small rock towards a line dug in the ground. "RiverClan-" She picked up a small group of acorns. "-will likely attack from there, because that's the territory they want. They'll then spread," she continued, pushing the acorns towards a small pile of twigs, "to your camp. But, they'll leave some warriors at Sunningrocks to defend it. What we can do is keep some of our warriors in your camp, and send two scouts just by here." She picked up two tips of reeds and dropped them a small ways away from the rock. "They can sit there and wait and rush back to ThunderClan camp when they hear that RiverClan is moving ahead."

It seemed like a solid plan to Emberpaw, but Kitestar and Leopardstar both looked uncertain. "What if the scouts are caught?" Kitestar replied. "They'll be killed, for sure. RiverClan won't let them live long enough to tell the others."

"We could try it," Leopardstar said, "but I want them to fight. Four by two paws sitting on the ground doing nothing while my Clanmates fight and maybe die doesn't make me feel easy."

"I know, Leopardstar," Mudflower said, "but it's the safest way for these warriors to alert your and our cats at camp of RiverClan's attack." She looked at Kitestar. "They could also split up, if need be, and one could run back to our camp for reinforcements."

Kitestar looked at the mess before him, at Mudflower, then at Leopardstar. "All right," he said, holding the golden tabby in a steady gaze. "We will send five warriors and two scouts to ThunderClan. I believe that is more than fair. But the scouts will not fight."

"It is very fair," Leopardstar said, though she did look disappointed. "Thank you, Kitestar. Your generosity will not be forgotten."

"It is not generosity, Leopardstar. It is repaying a debt. After this war, we will be even, and things will be as they were."

A cold look lit the dark places in Leopardstar's amber eyes. "Very well. Thank you. We will be going now."

"Our warriors will meet at the Thunderpath at sunrise," Kitestar said. "Send three ThunderClan cats to greet them."

"It will be done." She rose to her paws and gave both the leader and the deputy a respectful nod. "ThunderClan, let's go home."

Each ThunderClan cat said their polite goodbyes and followed Leopardstar out the den in single file, for the size of it did not allow for anything else. Emberpaw trailed behind at the end of the line. As he left, he glanced behind him at Mudflower and Kitestar, whispering nervously to each other. He could not hear what they were saying, and really did not care to, he decided. As he looked ahead, at his Clanmates leaving ShadowClan territory, he felt that he would never be more grateful to be home.

The journey out of ShadowClan territory was uneventful, though they were guided by Beestep and Hornetpelt. The pair were rough and callous, but made sure the small party crossed the Thunderpath safely before returning back to their own territory. As the party walked back into the wooded forests of ThunderClan, Emberpaw felt that he could almost feel every cat's paws prickle with nervousness. Danger seemed to be behind every tree, and he felt as though he were drowning in a lake of fear. He could smell the fear-scent of none other than Brokentail most pungently, and he kept close to Kestrelpelt and Rainpaw.

Leopardstar pulled ahead but told the rest of the group to stay behind and move at their regular pace; she was simply eager to meet with Heathernose and discuss what had transpired at ShadowClan's camp. Brokentail asked Emberpaw to go ahead in her footsteps after she left, but he stayed behind, not wanting to be far from support if he was attacked.

The crickets chirped quietly, their numbers slowly dwindling with the promise of leaf-fall hanging in the breeze. Emberpaw could hear Brokentail speaking behind him quite clearly, for the forest was near silent tonight. "I'm sorry," Brokentail said.

"For what?" Kestrelpelt said.

"For everything. For being a coward. For being a fool."

"Brokentail, not now!" Kestrelpelt hissed, and Rainpaw made a confused sound.

"You used," Brokentail said, "to call me Silverfur."

"Things changed," Kestrelpelt replied. "You had your accident."

"The accident I would never have gotten into had I not been so stubborn and listened to you!" Brokentail replied, his voice so high and pained that Emberpaw turned to see if he was injured. While his body was perfectly healthy, and there was no sign of RiverClan, Brokentail looked as though he had been mortally wounded, looking at Kestrelpelt with a desperate look in his yellow eyes.

Rainpaw looked back and forth between the two of them, her whiskers twitching slowly. "What's going on...?"

"Do you really need to do this here?" Kestrelpelt snapped. "Right now? In spite of everything that's going on?"

" _Because_  of everything that's going on!" Brokentail said. "Kestrelpelt, please..."

"Brokentail," Kestrelpelt sighed. "We're done. We're through. We've been that way for three seasons."

"I know. And it was my fault."

"Three seasons," Rainpaw whispered, her face scrunched up tight as she looked off into space. "Three seasons... W-wait. Linnetpaw and I are almost three seasons old." She looked up at her mother, and then at Brokentail. "Are you...?" She looked back at Kestrelpelt. "Were you...?"

Kestrelpelt sighed, but then nodded. "Yes. Brokentail and I were mates, back when he was called Silverfur. We were in love."

"I was so happy," Brokentail said. "We were so happy. What happened? What changed? Was it me? Please, Kestrelpelt, give me a clue."

"Why are you even concerned?" Kestrelpelt sighed. "We're at  _war_ , Brokentail. We can discuss this later."

"There might not be a later!" Brokentail replied. Emberpaw shrank tight in the grass. He had never seen his mentor look so frightened before. He had always seen Brokentail as a paragon of courage, but this... This was Brokentail at his weakest.  _Perhaps,_  thought Emberpaw,  _he should be named Brokenheart._

"I still love you, Kestrelpelt," Brokentail replied. "I always have. I always will. You are the sun in my sky. So, please... Just tell me why we had to end. I'll accept that we're done. I'll never push you into being mates with me again. I know you don't love me anymore. But... Please, just tell me why. Why did you stop loving me?"

Kestrelpelt groomed her face slowly. "Brokentail," she said slowly. "Some things just aren't meant to be."

Rainpaw looked up at Brokentail, at her father. "Why didn't you tell us?" she asked. "Linnetpaw and I always wondered who he was - our father. You came into the nursery so often, why didn't you just tell us?"

"I told him not to tell you," Kestrelpelt said. "I didn't want anyone to know. Especially not you three." Kestrelpelt flinched, and Emberpaw remembered how she had lost Hollykit, who had been Rainpaw and Linnetpaw's sister. "I didn't want anyone getting ideas that we were getting back together. I didn't want you two to be influenced by how stupid he can be."

"I've changed," Brokentail gasped. "I've changed. You must believe me. I must have proven it by now. Can't I be allowed back into my daughters' lives, at the very least?"

The calico molly sighed and kneaded the earth. "I'm afraid you'll have to ask them, Brokentail. I can't make the decisions for them any longer."

Brokentail looked at Rainpaw, and Rainpaw looked at him intensely. "I'd always wondered where the yellow came from," she said. "But..."

Brokentail looked crushed. "You don't want me." It wasn't a question.

Rainpaw looked at the earth. "I have to think about it," she said.

Kestrelpelt got to her paws and walked on. "Come on, let's get to camp," she said, walking right past Emberpaw. Rainpaw trailed nervously behind her, leaving Brokentail standing on his own. His ears were back and his shattered tail was drooped on the ground.

Emberpaw approached his mentor nervously, and Brokentail didn't seem to notice at first, but then he asked, "Do you know how I broke my tail?"

Emberpaw shook his head. "No, I don't."

"A Twoleg had a small monster in our woods," the silver tabby replied, looking after the calico molly and his silver daughter. "I tried to fight them off - it was so light, and only had two paws, so I thought it wouldn't be a problem. But the Twoleg grabbed me and threw me on the ground, and began to crush my tail with the monster's paw." He looked at the grass, scratching at it furiously. "It was the most humiliating moment of my life. Had it not been for Kestrelpelt, that Twoleg might have killed me."

He gulped. "If you learn one thing from me, Emberpaw, one thing in the whole of your time with me, let it be this: Never let your pride get in the way of your relationships with others. Know when enough is enough. Otherwise, you won't even have your pride." His tailtip twitched, and he got to his feet. "Let's go, we'll be missed."

"Right," Emberpaw replied quietly, obediently following his mentor. He wanted to press his pelt against his mentor's, or give him a nudge with his head, or say something else, but nothing came to him. He was supposed to be able to depend on his Clanmates, but it seemed that they couldn't depend on him.  _Good going, Emberpaw_ , he snarled to himself.

Brokentail, it seemed, would have to fight this battle alone.


	20. 19 - Why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's just kind of okay, sorry. I've been in a writing funk because of work and stuff. Zoinks. The ending is nice, at least, so I hope you enjoy.

Brokentail and Emberpaw walked into camp together, with the apprentice following his mentor closely. Emberpaw first looked for Rainpaw, who he found by the apprentices' den talking in hushed voices with Linnetpaw. Linnetpaw looked with her green eyes, like Kestrelpelt's, at the pair of toms, then looked back at Rainpaw. "Him?" Linnetpaw seemed to say. Rainpaw nodded.

"Emberpaw, come here," Leopardstar said. "Rainpaw, you too." Kestrelpelt and Brokentail were already departing from her company, and the apprentices bounded over to her, tails and ears pricked at attention.

"You both did very well tonight," she told them. "I'm proud of you. Eat some prey and go to sleep; Heathernose smells RiverClan by Sunningrocks."

The buff-colored tom approached his leader with a concerned look on his face. "And WindClan," he added. "The bastards allied. We'll likely fight at dawn, but we're keeping warriors up and moving tonight."

Leopardstar spat. "The ShadowClan warriors and scouts aren't arriving 'til sunrise!"

"We'll do what we can, Leopardstar," Heathernose told her. "Have faith in us. We will not fail you."

"He's right!" Rainpaw said. "We won't fail!" When the three cats looked at her, she tucked her paws under her sheepishly. "I-I know that I'm no good at fighting, or hunting..." she murmured shyly, twirling her tail around her paw. "But I know that I'll do my best! And I'll do anything for my Clan!"

Heathernose purred. "That's true ThunderClan spirit."

"All right, all right, you both need sleep. Off with you," the golden cat said, waving her tail dismissively.

Emberpaw and Rainpaw nodded politely, then walked back towards the apprentices' den. "Where's Tawnypaw?" Emberpaw asked Linnetpaw.

"On patrol," she answered. "Tawnyfur took her out for hunting practice, too. He made a silly joke about how the tawniest cats should get a chance to bond before they go to war."

"Tawnyfur? Joke? That's like saying Darkcloud was serious about something," Rainpaw chuckled.

Linnetpaw wiggled her whiskers amusedly. "Hey, don't insult my mentor, or I'll tell Kestrelpelt!"

"What's she going to do, rasp like an old owl at you to death?"

Linnetpaw gasped. "That's it, I'm telling!"

The sisters laughed jovially and rubbed cheeks affectionately. Emberpaw chuckled. It was good for them to bond and have a close moment, even if war was on the horizon. Maybe especially because of that.

Speaking of that, where was Eelfoot?

He swiveled his head around, scanning for his mother, but he didn't need to look for long. The brown tabby came trotting forward, Darkcloud in tow. "Emberpaw," she said, rubbing his face with her muzzle. "Sweetie, can you come with us for a second? We need to talk, in private."

Emberpaw nodded and followed wordlessly. Darkcloud's ever-casual air helped relieve some of the tension, but he could feel prickles of anxiety trailing down his mother's spine.

They found themselves by the dirtplace tunnel, sitting in a small triangle. "Emberpaw," Eelfoot said, "I have some big news."

Emberpaw nodded. "What is it?"

She inhaled. "Emberpaw, as you know, your father has been gone from us for longer than you've even been alive. I've done my grieving, I've moved on, and I've passed on everything I can to you. I know Leopardwhisker would be so proud of you if he could only see you. You are, in so many ways, the son he always wanted."

_I don't want to be his son._

"But, when something in the forest dies, there isn't just a barren patch of earth. New things grow where old things die. Not always the same things, no, but..." She looked meaningfully at Darkcloud. "But new and beautiful things all the same."

Emberpaw nodded slowly. "I think I know where this is going, Eelfoot."

"You do?" Darkcloud asked, blinking curiously.

Eelfoot chuckled. "Too bright for your own good." She took in a breath. "Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, Darkcloud is my new mate."

So there it was. It was official.

"But, dear heart, please understand this," she continued. "Just because I have a new mate doesn't mean you'll ever stop being my baby. You're my firstborn. I'll always be here for you, no matter what. Through thick and thin, no matter what anyone does or says, you can rely on me to support and love you."

Emberpaw squeaked under his breath, feeling heat flush to his ears and a tight sensation clench up his face and his body. She still cared. She still loved him. She wasn't going to throw him away.

"And," Darkcloud said with a nervous cough, "I have something I want to say, too."

Emberpaw looked at him, surprised.

"Listen, I, uh..." He licked his paw and groomed his face ferociously, trying to find the strength to say what he meant. "Look, Emberpaw. I've always been really fond of you, and as much as I love Eelfoot, I really care for you, too. And, if it's okay with you, I'd like to be like a father to you."

Darkcloud? His father? He'd never considered what having a father would even be like. In fact, he didn't think that having a father would really matter. Rainpaw, Linnetpaw, and Tawnypaw got on without fathers just fine. Why did he need one?

"I mean, look." He coughed again, trying to cover up his embarrassment. "We all know that you're a little... you know...  _sensitive._  And maybe it's because you haven't had enough tom influence in your life, or whatever. But I wanna try to help you to be the best tom you can be. You know? I'm here for you, kid."

Emberpaw felt as though he had a tree dropped on him. A really big, thick, tall, old tree. "Are you saying I'm weak?"

Eelfoot and Darkcloud looked horrified. "No, no, that's not what we're saying at all!" Eelfoot protested. "It's just... When toms act too soft, it ends badly for them. They become weak, they get picked on, they never find mates, they don't become good warriors. Toms need to act like toms, and we just want to help you."

Emberpaw looked at Eelfoot, trying to find something, anything in her orange eyes that wasn't this sense of inadequacy that was washing over him. "You don't think I'm good enough the way I am." It was a statement, a repetition.

"That's not-"

"Yes it is!" Emberpaw protested loudly. "That  _is_  what you're saying! You're saying I'm a bad tom, that I'm too much like a molly! What's so wrong with that, anyway?" he sputtered. "So what if I act more like a molly? What's wrong with mollies that I can't be one?"

"Why can't you be a molly?" Eelfoot asked incredulously. "Because you're a tom! You were born that way!"

"I-" Emberpaw felt like there was something he could say, anything, any kind of defense, but he realized that he didn't know what he was saying, and that she was right. He was born a tom, and there couldn't be any escaping that.

He got to his feet. "I need to think about this. I'm going to sleep. Good night, Eelfoot. Darkcloud."

* * *

Curled up in his nest, Emberpaw dreamt. The scents of oak, pine, and clear water filled his nostrils, and the wild smell of running prey wet his palate. Hundreds of silver stars illuminated the bluish black sky, and the crescent of the moon hung above like a thin claw.

He heard a rustling in the bushes, but he was not afraid. "Queen," he said as if summoning her.

"Hello," she said, slinking out from a juniper berry bush. "It's been a while, Emberpaw."

"It has," he said. "I thought you were gone forever."

"What changed your mind?" the black and white molly said.

"I saw you," Emberpaw replied. "On the way to ShadowClan, I saw you out of the corner of my eye. When I said I was a tom, you said, 'Are you sure?'"

A smile crept across Queen's face. "I did. Did you find your answer?"

"No. I only have questions."

"That's what a good question does, it makes you ask more questions."

"What makes you a molly?" Emberpaw asked. "What makes me not a molly? Why do I have to be one or the other?"

"All good questions, little love. You will find these answers all in due time."

"When? How?"

"In due time." She placed her paw on Emberpaw's forehead, and her warm touch filled his body with gentleness and patience like water.

"I want kits," he confessed.

"I know."

He looked up at her, her yellow eyes so like his. "Are you like me?"

She simply nodded.

Emberpaw looked down at his feet. How soft, he remarked internally, how delicate they were. He compared them to Queen's and saw that hers were thick and stocky, like Fireclaw's or Heathernose's, or even Darkcloud's. "Why?"

"Why not? It matters to none but me."

"Why? Isn't it painful?"

"Even scars can be beautiful when they heal," Queen replied, nuzzling Emberpaw's head. "You'll get your own."

A cricket chirped in the distance. "We're about to go to war," Emberpaw said, looking at a frog hopping across the river, "and yet here I am, worrying about myself. I'm selfish."

"A bird who can't fly can't teach hatchlings," Queen remarked. "You have to take care of yourself first."

Emberpaw pinned his ears back. "I don't think I even know who I am anymore."

"When you find Emberpaw," Queen said, "let me know. Good night, love." Queen vanished without a trace, and Emberpaw was left by himself in the rich forest, feeling more alone than ever.


End file.
